Objects in mirror…

objects in mirrorWhile searching for an image to use in one of last week’s posts, I came across the image featured on the left. If you own a car, ever driven in a car or walked by a car, it’s one you’re probably familiar with. And from the all knowing Wikipedia, comes this explanation:

The phrase “Objects in mirror are closer than they appear” is a safety warning that is required to be engraved on passenger side mirrors of motor vehicles in the USA.  It is present because while these mirrors’ convexity gives them a useful field of view, it also makes objects appear smaller. Since smaller-appearing objects seem farther away than they actually are, a driver might make a maneuver such as a lane change assuming an adjacent vehicle is a safe distance behind, when in fact it is quite a bit closer. The warning serves as a reminder to the driver of this potential problem.

So why the long explanation of a few words on the passenger side mirror of a car? Glad you asked.

For some reason, even though I’ve seen those cautionary words for years, this time when I read them they took on a different meeting. It never dawned on me that I sometimes treat certain things in my life – mostly the fears, worries and the insecurities – like I’m viewing them through the lens of a passenger side mirror. I worry about getting old, being able to manage certain events if they ever happen. I sometimes worry about retirement, about what my house might be worth in 10 years. 10 years! Tomorrow’s not promised to any of us, me included, but I’m visualizing potential problems in my rear view mirror closer, much closer, than they actually are.

I also have a tendency to look at my imperfections/flaws/things I haven’t embraced about myself, through the same convex lens. Treating them as though they are such a part of me, so close to me, that I’ll never shake them.

I’ll go out on a limb here to say that I’m probably not the only one who does this.

So how about we try seeing other things through the convex passenger side mirror from which we sometimes view our life.

How about even on the days we feel tired, or been working on our health/eating/lifestyle, and we slip, we still choose to see optimum health and vitality as closer than they may appear to us in that moment.

Or, the relationships we’ve prayed and prepared for, we see them closer and more clearer than they may appear to us in the moment.

The career, the financial independence, the peace, the faith – the good stuff. All the good stuff.

Let’s choose to see all the good stuff closer than they may appear to us in the moments when they feel the farthest away. That good thing, the good thing you’ve been waiting for, is closer than it appears.

 

Kalin’s Chronicles: Women’s Travel Resources

Women at Forty Passport to TravelI haven’t started my 2013 travels yet, and I still don’t know all the places I’ll be traveling yet.  But while I’m waiting to hit the airport again, I enjoy reading books and blogs that focus on women travelers.

So I thought I’d share some of my favorites with you.  These resources may help you plan your 2013 travels.

Books

Wunderlust and Lipstick:  The Essential Guide to Women Traveling Solo by Beth Whitman – great insider tips for traveling solo and not feeling lonely, including info on the latest technology to use.

Sand in My Bra and Other Misadventures:  Funny Women Write from the Road edited by Jennifer Leo — This book had me ROFLOL with its travel essays full of women’s experiences (including celebs like Ellen) that will make you laugh and warm your heart.  I hope to get one of my essays in a future edition.

East Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert – I loved this book!  It inspires you to travel and find yourself/your spirituality in the process.

Go Girl edited by Elaine Lee – I’m a fan of this book of inspiring essays by black women who have traveled the world.  You’ll be inspired to drop your fears and open your mind to diverse cultures.

101 Tips for Women Travelers edited by Harriet R. Lewis – This mini book via http://www.gct.com/  has great tips for women of all ages, including:  packing, health, safety, etiquette, shopping, photography and traveling solo.  And it easily fits in your purse or luggage. Continue reading Kalin’s Chronicles: Women’s Travel Resources

The Risk it Took to Blossom

Growth and progress hurt. But so does being stationary. Muscles wither, strength is lost and what could have been remains just that. A quote on a friend’s wall reminded me today that although it hurts to blossom, it’s a far more painful thing to remain in a place that is less than where you know you want to be…

Blossom Framed

A Letter From A Mother To Her Daughter

Letter to DaughterEditor’s Note: I first read this on the Facebook page of a site I follow. And I admit that when I read it, I went into the ugly cry. Now it’s your turn. This is for all the daughters watching as their mothers get older and praying we can show them all the patience, understanding and love they deserve.

Original text in Spanish and photo by Guillermo Peña.
Translation to English by Sergio Cadena

A Letter From a Mother to a Daughter

My dear girl, the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don’t interrupt to say: “You said the same thing a minute ago”… Just listen, please. Try to remember the times when you were little and I would read the same story night after night until you would fall asleep.

When I don’t want to take a bath, don’t be mad and don’t embarrass me. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl?

When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me the time to learn and don’t look at me that way … remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things like eating appropriately, getting dressed, combing your hair and dealing with life’s issues every day… the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through.

If I occasionally lose track of what we’re talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can’t, don’t be nervous, impatient or arrogant. Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you.

And when my old, tired legs don’t let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offered mine to you when you first walked. When those days come, don’t feel sad… just be with me, and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love. I’ll cherish and thank you for the gift of time and joy we shared. With a big smile and the huge love I’ve always had for you, I just want to say, I love you … my darling daughter.

I rarely ask readers to share, although I love and appreciate when they do, but share this with your mothers, with your friends, with anyone who loves and cares for an aging parent.

Who you might have been

never too lateThere’s something about turning 40 and being in your 40s that can be SCARY. There’s the getting older thing and time seemingly going by so much faster as you get older. So. Much. Faster… (wasn’t it just Y2K?!?)

And then for some it’s arriving at 40 feeling as if your life isn’t even close to being what/where you thought it would be. Or maybe you are exactly where you thought you’d be but now that you’re there things just don’t feel the way you thought they would.

Along with our own personal doubts come the whispers (and often shouts) from society that it’s too late.  With a few well publicized celebrity exceptions, according to the ubiquitous “them”, if you’ve made it to 40 but you haven’t made IT, whatever IT is, it’s Too. Damn. Late.

Too late to have the life you want, the career/body/mind/love you’ve always felt was yours to have. “Sorry ladies,” society scream-whispers (because it’s not PC to be too obvious about it), “YOU’VE MISSED THE BOAT.”

And then there’s the other end of the spectrum which says you can still be that woman…if you buy [fill in the blank] and only if you buy [fill in the blank]. Buy that self-help book, that guide to banishing cellulite, shedding those pounds and blasting those God-forsaken wrinkles. You can have IT at 40, they say, but not without a lot of help from us.

I beg to differ.

I personally know women in their 40s (and beyond) who have transformed their lives – bodies, minds, souls and bank accounts – and they didn’t have to compromise who they were at their core or buy into the marketing message that they had to be in their 20s or 30s to do it.

So, as cliche as it might sound, your time, woman at 40, is now. Your 20s and 30s are in the past, where they should be. Would-coulda-shoulda is an anchor keeping you stuck in one corner of a vast ocean that’s wide open to you. 40 doesn’t need to be the new 30 – 40 is the best 40.

Reshape the dreams and desires of your 20s with your 40 year old mind, your 40 year old sensibilities and all the wisdom and power that come along with it. Take it from someone who at 38, started this blog because I wasn’t happy with who and where I was. Take it from the women 40 and older – friends and family alike – who I’m watching redefine what it means to be women of a certain age and proving it is never too late to be who you might have been.