All the single ladies: Why aren’t we dating interracially?

Battle of the Hands SeriesI opened up a can of worms yesterday by talking about an article that’s getting a lot of buzz. The title: 8 reasons black women should date white men. The title is misleading because what the article is really offering is reasons “successful/educated” black women shouldn’t date black men. A friend’s comment sums the article up best, “full of the typical stereotypes with no added value.”

As someone who’s known plenty of black men who look and act nothing like the men portrayed in this piece, I’ve been able to take it for what it is, an oversimplified swipe at a targeted group of men who aren’t handling their business, at the benefit of another group of men who aren’t always (as the article would suggest) handling theirs either. Who’s left out in the missive are the drones of women who continue to allow the men in their lives to mistreat them, perpetuating a kind of “if she won’t, I’ll find another who will” mentality, leaving those of us who refuse to put up with bulls**t single for the long-haul.

Side note to the article’s writer: I’ve had the pleasure of working with and befriending women of all nationalities, ethnic groups, and races, believe me, I’ve heard the same sweeping generalizations made about men of all races and nationalities.So let’s all agree that the article is full of broad stereotypes and that women are ultimately responsible for the men they choose in their lives, and get down to the subject that really interests me – why some women seem to be so wary of dating outside of their race/ethnic group. While interracial marriage represents only about 7% of the marriages in the U.S., men don’t seem to have quite as many issues when it comes to “crossing the divide.” In fact, 73% of all African American/White interracial marriages are between black men and white women and in Asian/White marriages, it’s three times more likely that the husband is white.

Familiarity, cultural similarities and physical attraction are at the root of why many women decide not to date or marry outside of their race, but as we enter our 40s and 50s desiring to be in fulfilling relationships, should race and ethnicity continue to play such an important role? Why do men seem to find it easier to date outside of their race? And, would you ever consider dating someone of another race?

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Interracial dating stats from: Love to Know

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  • Sjilybily

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  • Rubyraspberries

    I agree totally. Why limit yourself to dating within your particular race. Would you limit yourself to dating someone within your particular career field? And, seriously, who cares what your family/friends/surrounding community thinks? This is your life, fall in love with you is a good guy for you.

  • Anonymous

    Well said Ruby – “fall in love with guy who is good for you”

  • Patsy185

    I recently came across this article and I must say that turning 40 for me had nothing to do with it, I have always dated outside of my race. Growing up my mother made no limitations on us kids, she would always tell us that as long as we are happy that’s all that matters.