From a man who sings to a man who listens: The evolution of my “list”

maxwell I’ve been journaling since I was about 14. That’s why it was pretty easy for me to go back to those journals and look at all “the lists” I’ve created over the years. You know the list I’m referring to. It’s the list of desirable qualities in a mate, Mr. Right…“The One.”

Looking back over my numerous lists I can’t help but laugh at some of the qualities I thought were essential when I was younger. One particularly embarrassing desire I held was to have a man who could sing and play football. Not necessarily at the professional level (because that would be ridiculous) but I imagine I must have thought that the combination of singing and football would somehow get me out of a major life jam sometime in the future. I even found an entry about my dream man having long eyelashes – because you know, that’s the telltale sign of a good man. Continue reading From a man who sings to a man who listens: The evolution of my “list”

My first unofficial, official gray hair

gray hair piedrastudios Rumor has it I have a gray hair. While official reports have the number as high as three, those reports can neither be confirmed nor denied on account of the fact that I refuse to confirm or deny them. The real story here is not that I “allegedly” have three gray hairs, it’s how I reacted when I realized I had them. And by realized I mean my sister pointing to my head and saying in her best outside voice, “girl, you have a gray hair!”

For years I prided myself on being one of those women for whom things like wrinkles, crow’s feet and gray hairs just did not matter. To me, they were all signs of wisdom and beauty.  And as a conscientious objector of today’s “youthification” movement that says women should immediately rid themselves of all signs of aging, I’d loudly declare that I was never going to color my grays. So…what’s up with my reaction to these darn grays? (photo credit: Piedrastudio)

Continue reading My first unofficial, official gray hair

Embracing our “imperfections”

lauren hutton crop 2 Years ago I had orthodontic braces. I wore that metal contraption – rubber bands and all – throughout the last couple years of high school, followed by a year of grueling night-time retainer wearing. If you’ve seen me anytime post circa 1990 then you’re probably wondering if I got a refund. Because today there’s a gap, front and center where my two front teeth used to meet. A big one.

At one point, a lifetime ago now it seems, I thought about re-closing it and my grandmother said simply, “Why close it? If it came back, that means it’s meant to be there. It makes you different.” She said it so confidently and with such assurance (as though she’d heard it from God himself) that I knew immediately she was right. And that validation from her was all I needed to never question the existence of my gap again. Even when some adults have asked if I’ve ever thought about getting it “fixed”.  And even when children (ok, one child) have pointed to their missing front teeth and asked me if the tooth fairy left me money too.  Even then I’ve never once considered changing my gap-toothed smile. More important than the fact that I’ve gotten more compliments over the years than comments, is the fact that I genuinely like my smile.

If only we could pull sweet grandmother wisdom out of our pockets whenever we had doubts about our perceived imperfections. We’d spend a lot less time being unhappy and a lot more time focusing on the things that really matter. What others thought about our imperfections would be meaningless, because what we knew to be true about ourselves would be shaped by someone who’d heard it directly from God himself. Wouldn’t that be a great way to start thinking about ourselves – all of it, cellulite, wrinkles and all?

So what’s your “imperfection”, and how did you learn to love it? Have you learned to love it? Share your thoughts in the comment section, or on our Facebook fan page. And, don’t forget to take this week’s poll – Would you ever consider plastic surgery?

Image: Lauren Hutton’s gap-tooth smile

WAF’s Five for Friday – The Date Night Edition

Fernbank martini imax Not the new Tina Fey, Steve Carrell Date night movie, although that looks pretty funny. No, we’re hoping for a slightly less eventful, but still fun evening. All week we’ve been talking about relationships, and one of our most popular questions was, have you ever asked a guy out? You’d think that at 40, most of us would have. Not even close. While many women responded that they have, most of us – myself included – have never asked a guy out! Whether it’s because we’re pretty traditional and think the guy should do the asking, or because we’re afraid to hear the word no, 40 might be the year for us to “woman-up.”

In the article How to ask a guy out, Cosmo’s got a few suggestions on how to do just that. So now that you’ve read the article, gathered your nerve, asked him out, and he said yes, now what?

Five great date night suggestions  for when you’re doing the asking – and even when you’re not. (Image Source: Fernbank Museum  Photograph by Michelle Lapid)

Continue reading WAF’s Five for Friday – The Date Night Edition

We have nothing to fear but fear itself – well, that and rejection

rejected-stamp-thumb8591041 I made a phone call last week. Not just any phone call. I called a publicist to set up an interview with a celebrity who’s recently turned 40. I’ve been putting it off for months. Why? I was afraid they’d tell me no.

I envy the way the word “no” rolls off the backs of most men. I’ve watched them after hearing the word no, scooping themselves up, dusting themselves off and moving on to the next woman, business or project, intuitively understanding that each “no” gets them that much closer to their “YES!”

But for me, and I suspect many women, a simple “no, she’s  currently unavailable to interview with you” turns into something along the lines of  “NO, you’re not worth our time or effort, and what you’re trying to accomplish is ridiculous, and who in the world do you think you are anyway?!?” Whew! That’s an awful lot of negativity to pack into a simple two letter word. But oh what powers we endow to the word “no!”  Continue reading We have nothing to fear but fear itself – well, that and rejection