Editor’s Note: Since returning to walking after taking just a week off from my recently established daily walking routine, I’m really feeling it. My body is no longer as forgiving as it used to be. I’m sluggish, lacking energy, and although I never thought I’d say it, missing my morning walks. Besides the physical benefits of walking, I’m experiencing the stress release and mental clarity that accompanies a nice long walk. Jacqueline, who runs the website, The Aging Suite, suggested I add Tai Chi to my workouts. Today she tells us why Tai Chi can be beneficial, especially to women at 40.

Ok, so when you think about Tai Chi, you don’t exactly think about something someone in their 40’s is doing. You may think, it’s great for my mom and dad and even grandparents, but for me, not so much. Well, think again. Tai Chi is a great form of exercise regardless of your age. Tai Chi is a traditional form of Chinese martial arts that has been practiced in China for centuries. Its benefits and forms have spread throughout the world. Tai Chi is also a low intensity exercise; its movements are smooth, non-jarring, and work joints through their full range of motion. It is believed to have many health benefits including improving flexibility.Alright, I’m 40 or in my 40’s, and am pretty flexible, what can Tai Chi do for me? Research suggests that Tai Chi is also beneficial for younger women in helping to improve their balance and blood pressure. A 2004 article studied the effects of Tai Chi on Chinese women aged 33-55. The women in the study had not participated in other types of exercise or sport for at least 2 years and had not previously done Tai Chi. The women took The Tai Chi classes 3 times a week for 12 weeks. At the end of the study, the women’s systolic and diastolic blood pressures had decreased. They also demonstrated improvements in balance when compared with another group who had not done Tai Chi. To read the article in its entirety, check out this link at Oxford Journals.

Other believed benefits of Tai Ch include:

• Improved muscle strength

• Reduced risk of multiple falls

• Lower blood pressure

• Improvements with muscles that control posture

• Improved balance

• Improved cardio fitness

• Lower levels of depression

• Reduced stress and anxiety

To learn more about the benefits of Tai Chi, visit The Aging Suite.

Jacqueline is an Occupational Therapist and blogger. She is the Senior Editor of The Aging Suite, a site that offers tips for aging in place for seniors and their families.

Five months after officially ending the challenge, I have (for the most part) stuck to healthier, more conscious eating habits. The $25-a-week budget looks more like $35 now, but still, the end result is that I’m much more mindful of what’s in the food I’m eating and where it’s coming from.

After years of yo-yo dieting, my metabolism is shot, and so the weight I expected to lose during the process has been slow in coming off. I’d imagined being “fit at forty” and celebrating my 40th several sizes smaller than I am today. But a friend reminded me that I’ll be 40 for an entire year, and so I actually have 365 days to become fit at 40. Despite the slow weight loss, I have for the most part maintained my commitment to eating only grass fed and cage free meat, poultry and eggs. There have been a few occasions when I’ve been out and frankly, the lure of jerked chicken (read “why did the chicken cross the road” to understand) overrode any question I had about the origins of my food. But those moments have been few and far between. I’ve also kept to my commitment to purchasing products that contain no artificial ingredients, colors or preservatives. That’s meant smarter snacking, a lot less eating out and an overall healthier lifestyle.

Finally, I’m moving more. For a while I was playing tennis on a weekly basis and taking belly dancing classes (more on that in a later post.) These days I’m walking several times a week, and a new round of belly dancing madness is scheduled to start in July.

My goal for 40 is to be fit, mentally, spiritually and physically, and despite a few bumps in the road, I feel like I’m headed in the right direction. I’ve been down this road before, but this time my 40′s are waiting ahead of me with the hopes and dreams I’ve held dear for the past several years. This road – the one of health and wellbeing – is the only road that will take me to the places I want to go. And for that reason alone, I’m determined to stay the course.

How’s your quest to be fit at 40 coming along? Share your story in the comment section, or on our Facebook fan page.

Over on Facebook a lively discussion started on dying gray hair, growing old gracefully and good genes.  On the site a few of you even commented that you’d already had some work done – and saw no problem with that. Here’s a little of what you had to say on dying gray hair, aging gracefully and cosmetic surgery…

I’ve decided against plastic surgery. I like how I look even as I get older. Yes, I see my little fat cheeks dropping a little, and I notice more lines under my eyes…but I remember that they are there because I laugh a lot and that’s a good thing, right? -E

For me, aging gracefully means accepting myself and loving myself as I am. I am fortunate that my only telltale aging sign is gray hair, which I’ve had since my early 20s. While I do color my gray, I highly doubt that I would or will ever have plastic surgery/Botox/Restalayne/etc.. -R

I would consider having plastic surgery, in fact I admit that I started doing fillers and botox about 1 year ago. What does aging “gracefully” mean anyway? Does it mean we have to accept the fact that we just don’t look like 20 anymore? I get that! I don’t want to look like 20 because I feel different now than I did 20 years ago. But that doesn’t mean I can’t try to look my best, does it? – S

I had procedures done as well, Botox, Sculptra, Chemical peels and I might consider more “drastic” measures in the future if I feel I have to. I will turn 40 this year and although I know I am now considered to be a “middle aged woman” now, I will not let myself go. – Sun

Join the conversation – Take our “plastic surgery” poll, share your thoughts in the comment section and sound off on our Facebook page. We want to know what all of you have to say about aging and beauty in today’s culture.

At one point, a lifetime ago now it seems, I thought about re-closing it and my grandmother said simply, “Why close it? If it came back, that means it’s meant to be there. It makes you different.” She said it so confidently and with such assurance, as though she’d heard it from God himself, that I knew immediately she was right. And that validation from her was all I needed to never question the existence of my gap again. Even when some adults have asked if I’ve ever thought about getting it “fixed” and children have pointed to their missing front teeth

and asked me if the tooth fairy left me money too (yes, that really happened once), even then I’ve never once considered changing my gap-toothed smile. More important than the fact that I’ve gotten more compliments over the years than comments, is the fact that I genuinely like my smile.

If only we could pull sweet grandmother wisdom out of our pockets whenever we had doubts about our perceived imperfections. We’d spend a lot less time being unhappy and a lot more time focusing on the things that really matter. What others thought about our perceived imperfections would be meaningless, because what we knew to be true about ourselves would be shaped by someone who’d heard it directly from God himself. Wouldn’t that be a great way to start thinking about ourselves – all of it, cellulite, wrinkles and all?

So what’s your “imperfection”, and how did you learn to love it? Have you learned to love it? Share your thoughts in the comment section, or on our Facebook fan page. And, don’t forget to take this week’s poll – Would you ever consider plastic surgery?

Image: Lauren Hutton’s gap-tooth smile

Last week we were all a bit at a loss for words when a reader who called herself “Too ashamed to use her real name” wrote in about the hurt and pain she felt at never having been in a real relationship. Several things she said struck a chord with us, but these words in particular are relevant to the topic of beauty and aging in our society…

And now that I’m getting old it just crushes me inside…I’ve never been very attractive–I’m not hideous, I’m just not someone that would make a man sit up and take notice when she walks in a room. And now that I’m getting old I’ll be less and less attractive…I look in the mirror and see the fine lines and the hair that’s just starting to turn gray.

While many of us have not had to deal with the intense negative self image that “Too ashamed” has carried around for years, many of us have hyperventilated over gray hairs, spent entire paychecks on beauty products and plucked a stray chin hair while driving down the highway (why do we think car windows are invisible shields?) It’s all got us wondering, what do women at 40 see when they look in the mirror?

We’re not talking about the conversations you have with the inner you that you’ve (hopefully) come to love by now – the warrior mom, great wife/mate, all around good person who repeats the mantra daily that beauty comes from within. No, we’re talking about what you really see when you look in the mirror, the – was that wrinkle there yesterday – why are those hanging so low and where did that come from?!? – conversations.

This week’s new poll asks the question, “Would you ever consider plastic surgery?”  And while many of us outwardly frown on the horribly bloated lips and frozen, botoxed  faces of celebs, if we’re honest with ourselves, we’ve all looked in the mirror and had our moments of doubt. So, in a society obsessed with physical beauty, where do we find the happy medium – How do we balance caring about our physical appearance with nurturing the beauty within? We’ll ask our virtual panel these questions and we’ll hear what you have to say.

On the relationship front, the results of last week’s poll are in. In it we asked, what’s the “right age” to get married. Almost 50% of you said there was no such thing as a right age. 31% of you said that getting married in your 30’s was the right age. But what if the man you married in your 30’s was 10 years younger? This week we’ll be posting an excerpt from our interview with Jo, creator of the website Beyond Cougar.  At 33, Jo married a man 10 years her junior. But before you call her a cougar, listen up, she doesn’t like that label at all and refuses to be defined by the age of the man she married. Now 5 years into her marriage, she shares her thoughts on marriage, younger men and why the term ‘cougar’ offends her.

So, do you like what you see when you look in the mirror, and how has your perception of beauty changed as you’ve gotten older. Share your thoughts in the comment section or on our Facebook fan page. And don’t forget to take our poll!

At the beginning of this year I set out with a lofty goal of being fit at forty. I was determined to reclaim myself – my health, my time, my goals, in pursuit of a more authentic me. It started with my $25 good food challenge and a change in the way I shop for and relate to the foods I eat. It also meant a return to a time in my life when I was healthier and much more active. Three months into 2010 and I’m finding out that the authentic me is lazy, whiny and a tad arthritic. Nice to meet you – me – whatever.

Instead of being encouraged by the fact that I got out there and played tennis for the first time in years, I was majorly disappointed that I’d allowed myself get that out of shape.  Instead of taking it one day at a time like I promised myself I would do, I immediately started doing the math in my head, figuring if a couple hours of tennis could tear me up like this, it would be years, not months before I get back into anything resembling “shape.” Meanwhile back at the ranch, my chicken withdrawals are getting more severe and business is slower than expected even though I feel like I’m working harder than ever.  My “reclamation proclamation” as I like to call it, is not going quite the way I’d planned. In fact, it’s been much easier said than done.

And then I remember I don’t have to do it all today – don’t have to make it through an hour of tennis like Serena, cook like The Barefoot Contessa, build an empire like Oprah or even be as sweet and understanding as Mother Theresa, in a day. At least not this day. Today I just have to figure out how to make these beans taste like chicken, don my ankle and knee braces for another hour of tennis, and get up the courage to make those phone calls that could help me and the business reach the next level.  And I don’t even have to do them all at the same time.

How’s your road to 40 shaping up, health, relationships and otherwise? Share your thoughts in the comment section, or on our Facebook Fan Page.

Rachel

Products used: Striking Multi-Vitamin Cleanser, Striking Multi-Peptide Serum, Striking Rejuvenating Eye Crème and Striking Restorative Moisture Crème

Length of time used: 28 days

I really enjoyed using the Striking Skin Care product line! At first, I thought I might not be the best candidate for the products since (thankfully) at 39 years old I’ve yet to develop wrinkles or sagging skin… I am happy to report that these products addressed other issues one might not associate with aging skin and I would definitely recommend them to others. The four-step system is easy to use and all of the products have a subtle, yet fresh scent. I kind of think of it as Pro-Activ for grown-ups.

Step one, Striking Skin Care Multi-Vitamin Cleanser is gentle, yet quite effective. While I am more accustomed to facial cleansers that are sudsier and actually lather, I also know that harsh, drying sulfates are what generally makes that lather and despite not using them on my hair for more than two years, I was still using them on my face (the shame). My rationale was that by the end of the day my skin felt a bit oily so a good scrub was in order. I was also exfoliating with a Buf -Puf type pad in the morning and using an Olay Cleansing Cloth at night (which caused dry spots) and then slathering on moisturizer to replenish.

While using the Striking Skin Care product line, I used only my hands to cleanse my face—nothing more. Within a week I noticed that my skin seemed brighter, smoother and more evenly moisturized. Visibly large and clogged pores on my nose became smaller and within 3 weeks were almost invisible.

Step two, the Striking Multi-Peptide Serum goes on smoothly and absorbs into my skin almost instantly. It reminds me of using a makeup primer, leaving my skin feeling smooth and taught—but not uncomfortably so. I think of it as my skin- perker-upper.

Next up is Striking Rejuvenating Eye Crème. This product particularly impressed me as I am guilty of rarely getting more than three to four hours of sleep nightly. While I use a wonderful under-eye concealer and most people could never imagine the havoc beneath my carefully-concealed eyes, every morning and every evening I was greeted by tired-looking eyes that were taking on a darker hue. The product goes on smoothly and absorbs quickly, and within two weeks I saw a marked improvement—to the point that the concealer is no longer necessary.

The final step in the Striking Skin Care System is the Striking Restorative Moisture Crème. It spreads evenly and leaves my skin feeling moisturized throughout the day. This was particularly impressive for me as someone who is unaccustomed to cold winter weather and the drying effects of perpetual use of radiators and heaters to keep warm. Regardless of sitting on top of space heaters or hovering over radiators, my skin remains soft and well-hydrated from day to night. After using the product again before bed, I awaken to soft skin the next morning and at no point does my skin feel oily or waxy.

All in all I’d say that the Striking Skin Care System is an absolutely wonderful addition to any woman’s skin care arsenal and will likely replace several other products and thus simplify the bathroom cabinet as well as her skin care regimen.

For more information on Striking Skin Care’s line of products, visit them at www.strikingskincare.com.

Note: Neither participants nor ‘Women at Forty’ were paid or reimbursed for their reviews. Reviewers were allowed to keep the products tested.

Editor’s Note:

How often have you had the experience of pigging out on something and once you’d consumed a lot of it, realized you didn’t even like it? I know I have. Eating things we don’t really want is part of the “mindless eating” phenomenon that is so prevalent in our society. We can easily fall into this trap, what I recently heard someone refer to as a “snackcident”, when we’re not paying attention to what and how we are eating.

Also, many of us learned as children that it was a sin to not eat everything on our plates, and some were even forced to eat everything they were given so that they could leave the table! But if you can go back in time and recapture some of your childhood eating memories, can you remember how repulsed you felt by certain foods? Mine was turnip…Just smelling cooked turnip was enough to make me run for cover when I was little.

As adults, and especially as dieters, we may have become increasingly disconnected with our true food likes and dislikes, and will often eat things just because we think they are “good for us.” I’d like to help you reconnect with your inner child so that she can help you re-learn what foods “call to you” and those you’d rather avoid.

For homework, try answering the following questions in your journal or on a piece of paper:

Make a list of foods you want but do not allow yourself to buy or eat.

What foods are you eating that you don’t really want?

If you allowed yourself to have the foods you want, whenever you are craving them, what do you think would happen?

Roadblock #4: Eating When You’re Not Hungry

The Hunger/Satiety Scale

Hunger has a wide range of intensities. Pay attention to your hunger and fullness cues. Imagine hunger as a scale from 1 to 10 where 1 is hunger to the point of light-headedness, 5 is no hunger, and 10 is “Thanksgiving full” where you may even start to feel pain. Ideally, you want to stay in the middle of this range between slightly hungry and comfortably full. If you allow yourself to get too hungry, everything starts to look good and it’s easy to overeat. On the other hand, if you are always eating before you feel hungry, you are ignoring the natural signals that help you maintain a regular body weight. It is important to stop eating just before you feel full because it takes time for the brain to get the fullness message. Some days you will be more active and require more energy than others, so respond to hunger cues appropriately.

Homework: To learn about satisfaction, at your next meal, try eating half the food on your plate, and then give yourself a rating of where you are on the hunger/satiety scale. If you are at number five or above, stop eating.

Roadblock #5: Sneaking Food

This is a very important area to address, as there is a huge correlation between the phenomenon of sneak-eating and problematic relationships with food and body image. In the 10+ years that I’ve been working as a therapist specializing in disordered eating, I have not yet met one client who has made peace with food and their body without stopping the “sneak-eating” habit.

Homework:
Write a list of the ways in which you eat less than what you want because you are in the presence of others.

Write a list of the ways in which you currently sneak food.

Write a list of the specific foods you sneak. Is there a pattern? What do you notice?

Write a list of the ways in which you hide your eating. Is there a pattern? What do you notice?

__________________________________________________________

Esther Kane, MSW, RCC relocated to the Comox Valley over two years ago from Vancouver. She is in full-time private practise as a psychotherapist in Courtenay. Esther has over a decade of experience counselling women and their loved ones with a multitude of presenting problems. Her main focus is helping women to become free of barriers which keep them stuck so that they can become all that they dream of being. You can learn more about Esther on her website www.estherkane.com.

This article was originally posted on www.estherkane.com. It is reposted with the author’s permission.

Editors Note:

To get different points of view, we recruited two of Women at Forty’s contributors, Kim and Rachel, shipped them the Striking Skin Care System and asked them to give us their honest opinion – Love it or leave it?  Today, Kim shares her take on the product line, and on Thursday you’ll read Rachel’s point of view.

Kim’s Review

Crows feet and laugh lines are NOT something a woman looks forward to….so when I was offered the chance to test new skin care products called “Striking”, I jumped at the chance.They are made with the Smartpeptide technology which is supposed to target signs of aging to smooth fines lines and wrinkles while improving skin firmness.

I tested out the skin care line for approximately 15 days, applying once in the morning, and once at night.
Step 1 in the skin care regime is the “Multi-Vitamin Crème Cleanser”. This comes in an 8 fl oz bottle and is a milky white, lotion-like consistency. It is very gentle and does not produce a lather, but seems to clean and rinse away nicely. There is no odor to this product and it did not leave my skin feeling tight afterwards.

Step 2 is the “Multi-Peptide Serum” in a 1.13 oz pump bottle to be used right after cleansing. This is a gel like serum that you smooth over your face before the moisturizing products. I really liked this product…it was my favorite step because….as odd as this sounds, and I know it’s probably all in my head…but just the word ‘serum’ conjures up all kinds of magical potions and makes me think it will boost the effectiveness of the subsequent moisturizers used. Nevertheless…this is a very nice product to use – it is cool going on the skin and absorbs quickly. You are supposed to let it completely dry before applying the eye cream and moisturizer, so I would apply it, and by the time I brushed my teeth I would be ready for the next step.

Step 3 is the “Rejuvenating Eye Cream” in a .5 oz jar. I dabbed a little under and around my eyes as well as on my eyelids. I have to admit my eyes teared the first few times I used it….I’m not sure if I was putting it TOO close to my eyes, or if I just needed to get used to it. The product is of a thick white consistency, odorless, and absorbs quickly into the skin. I did notice that my eyelids seemed to tighten up a bit, which was very nice! I luckily don’t have too many lines or bags around my eyes so I didn’t really see a difference there.

Step 4 is the “Restorative Moisture Cream” in a 1 oz jar. This product is also of a thick white cream like consistency, and is odorless. It absorbs quickly and nicely into the skin without feeling like you slathered Crisco on your face. I don’t have too many facial lines yet (luckily and hopefully because I STAY OUT OF THE SUN!), but I do have fine laugh lines and I did notice I was getting one of those fine forehead lines. So, I made sure to target those areas with the cream, and I really do feel like my laugh lines diminished a bit as well as that pesky horizon line on my forehead, and I did feel an overall increase in the firmness of my skin.

Overall, I really did like the products and would recommend them to other women in their late 30s and up. The fact that all the products are colorless and odorless were a big plus in my book, and the diminishing of my laugh lines will only keep me laughing more!

You can learn more about Striking Skin Care by visiting them at www.strikingskincare.com.

Note: Neither participants nor ‘Women at Forty’ were paid or reimbursed for their reviews. Reviewers were allowed to keep the products tested.

Editor’s Note:

This is a topic that is dear to my heart. You see, my mother, Marion Kane, is a food writer. In fact, she was the Food Editor of two major Canadian newspapers for a total of 17 years. So while most kids spent their evenings playing outside, I was busy dining in the finest restaurants of Toronto ordering lots of dishes to help my mum in her “tasting” ceremony which would either make said restaurant into the latest “hot spot” or else put it out of business within two weeks.

My mother, unlike me, doesn’t appear to struggle with what to eat, how much to eat, or knowing when she’s full. But still, I have managed to learn some important things from her when it comes to eating joyfully. In my mother’s house, eating is a celebration: a time set aside to painstakingly prepare and enjoy a good meal.

In my mother’s words:

We all have to eat. Most people prepare some of their own meals. Many of us are passionate about food and cooking. All of which explains why I love being a food writer: It so easily connects me with individuals of every age, colour, social status, shape and size. I’ve written about where and what Toronto taxi drivers like to eat- a story that led me to burger joints, an African take-out, South Asian eateries and a Jewish deli. I once checked our city’s cops’ top spots to nosh and, for another article, visited favourite haunts of local truckers. In a different vein, I talked to chefs who man high-end kitchens atop downtown skyscrapers for CEOs, and penned a feature about those who prepare the fare at local spas and health clubs. Food is the great equalizer and, from my experience, there’s no better way to lift one’s spirits or create a bond than sharing it with others.

My mother’s dearly departed friend, Julia Child, agrees:

“Dining with one’s friends and beloved family is certainly one of life’s primal and most innocent delights, one that is both soul-satisfying and eternal.”

A recent survey showed that Americans are eating more but enjoying it less. Just 39% of adults in this survey say they enjoy eating “a great deal,” down from the 48% who said the same in a survey in 1989. Also, the survey found that the decline in enjoyment of eating has been greater among those who consider themselves “overweight” than among those who consider themselves “just about the right weight.”

In other words, when you’re not happy with your body, you’re not enjoying one of life’s greatest pleasures- eating.

For homework, I’d like to you to write answers to each of the following questions on a piece of paper or in your journal:

Describe an ideal eating experience. Describe in detail the atmosphere, table setting, location, type of food you’d be enjoying, and whether you would be alone or with others.

Think about how you eat your meals now. Now write down some things that you can do to make your day-to-day eating experiences more enjoyable.

__________________________________________________________

Esther Kane, MSW, RCC relocated to the Comox Valley over two years ago from Vancouver. She is in full-time private practise as a psychotherapist in Courtenay. Esther has over a decade of experience counselling women and their loved ones with a multitude of presenting problems. Her main focus is helping women to become free of barriers which keep them stuck so that they can become all that they dream of being. You can learn more about Esther on her website www.estherkane.com.

This article was originally posted on www.estherkane.com. It is reposted with the author’s permission.