Is there really someone out there for everyone?

00255382After taking a couple of weeks off, I’m back and ready to hear and share our collective life experiences. While I’ve been a little slow in responding to the emails and comments, one comment in particular struck me. It was written in response to a post written by a women who is 40 and has never been in love. It’s still one of the most visited and commented posts on the site, and the last few weeks has been no exception. Here’s one comment in response to never been in love:

I am a 48 yr old female, actually have 2 kids, but still, to this day never been on a real date. I seem to attract the “bad boys” and never really care in the end. I am a semi attractive woman, great sense of humor, and good Mom, but deeply want the closeness of someone who cares. It now bothers me that I have not been out on a real date, never a Valentine for me, never a gift just for nothing. Is there really someone out there for everyone? I wonder! Continue reading Is there really someone out there for everyone?

All the single ladies: Why aren’t we dating interracially?

Battle of the Hands SeriesI opened up a can of worms yesterday by talking about an article that’s getting a lot of buzz. The title: 8 reasons black women should date white men. The title is misleading because what the article is really offering is reasons “successful/educated” black women shouldn’t date black men. A friend’s comment sums the article up best, “full of the typical stereotypes with no added value.”

As someone who’s known plenty of black men who look and act nothing like the men portrayed in this piece, I’ve been able to take it for what it is, an oversimplified swipe at a targeted group of men who aren’t handling their business, at the benefit of another group of men who aren’t always (as the article would suggest) handling theirs either. Who’s left out in the missive are the drones of women who continue to allow the men in their lives to mistreat them, perpetuating a kind of “if she won’t, I’ll find another who will” mentality, leaving those of us who refuse to put up with bulls**t single for the long-haul.

Side note to the article’s writer: I’ve had the pleasure of working with and befriending women of all nationalities, ethnic groups, and races, believe me, I’ve heard the same sweeping generalizations made about men of all races and nationalities. Continue reading All the single ladies: Why aren’t we dating interracially?

Part 2 – Rachel Moheban: Ask the Relationship Expert

ask relationship expert In Part 1 of my interview with Rachel Moheban, the renowned psychotherapist talked about the surge in creativity she experienced when she turned 40. She also introduced us to her latest project, The Ultimate Relationship Resolution Program. When the conversation turned to relationship talk, we both noticed one thing; these days there’s more pressure to get married than to stay married. In Part 2 of our conversation, Rachel addresses a the relationship mistakes some women make and shares her number one relationship tip.

The number one relationship mistake women make

One of the most common relationship mistakes Rachel sees women making is getting into relationships or marrying for the wrong reason. Rachel cautions women to enter a relationship and marry for the right reason, “not out of need, not out of desperation, not out of dependence.”  (Image: The Relationship Suite’s Ask the Relationship Expert)

Continue reading Part 2 – Rachel Moheban: Ask the Relationship Expert

WAF’s Whirly Girl: Rachel Moheban – Part 1

Rachel Moheban Last Monday I introduced you to one of New York’s most sought after psychotherapists and relationship change experts, Rachel Moheban. Rachel, who’s a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and holds a Masters in Social Work from New York University, is the force behind The Relationship Suite and The Ultimate Relationship Resolution Program.  A couple of months ago I had the pleasure of talking to Rachel about her upcoming projects, the relationship issues she sees regularly in her practice, and the launch of her Ultimate Relationship Resolution Program. In part 1 of our interview, we talk about turning 40 and what it takes to build a one of kind business. (photo: Rachel Moheban, LCSW)

On Turning 40

“For me, 40 was revolutionary.” Rachel explains. “It’s a time when you really come into yourself in an incredible way. In his book, Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill says that between the ages of 40 and 60 we are our most creative, and I’ve found that to be true. At 40 I started developing my program and it’s the time when I learned the most emotionally and professionally.” Rachel also believes that we become more in tune with our spiritual selves in our 40s. She says, “if you can really tune into that, it’s miraculous.”

Continue reading WAF’s Whirly Girl: Rachel Moheban – Part 1

Rachel Moheban: The Top 3 Relationship Communication Tips

00409501 Editor’s note: This Next week I’ll be posting my interview with Women at Forty’s latest Whirly Girl, Rachel Moheban. Rachel’s one of the most sought after psychotherapists in New York City and creator of the website The Relationship Suite. But most exciting for us, she’s agreed to be Women at Forty’s Relationship Expert. More details on that coming up later, but today Rachel’s sharing three simple tips to help improve communication in your relationship.

Top 3 Relationship Communication Tips

We’re always told how important good communication is to make a relationship work, but what does this really mean? On the surface, it seems straightforward and logical, right? So you and your partner need to talk and express your feelings….to be open, direct and honest.

Easier said than done! Add human emotion, different backgrounds/personalities and personal limitations into the mix, and many couples are left feeling conflicted and helpless. Good communication does not usually come naturally in a long-term relationship, and both partners need to work on getting their communication momentum right to achieve a harmonious relationship.

Continue reading Rachel Moheban: The Top 3 Relationship Communication Tips