Editor’s Note: This week’s book selection, Lysterium, is written by Bethany Shelhorn and tells the story of a successful newspaper editor, a mysterious stranger and a long-held family secret. It’s reviewed by WAF community member and creator of WhereWomenConnect.com, Jeanette Harrietha. In her review Jeanette shares how she, as a woman on her own journey towards 40, connected with the novel’s protagonist, Liv Worthington…

Lysterium – Reviewed by Jeanette Harrietha

If you’re looking to escape real life for a few hours this summer, Bethany Shehorn’s fast-paced debut novel Lysterium offers just the place. While the plot moves almost too quickly at times, Shehorn weaves an interesting and intricately detailed story with the potential for a series of books with well developed characters and storytelling.

After a brief encounter with a handsome and mysterious stranger, Liv Worthington unwittingly sets out on an adventure that challenges reality as she knows it. Liv quickly discovers that the fairytales told to her by her grandmother were in fact true accounts of a magical land called Lysterium, a land Liv must defend against evil. Full of fantasy, intrigue, romance and action, Shehorn takes her reader along for the ride as we follow Liv through the complexities of Lysterium and her own journey of self-discovery.

What I found most interesting about Liv’s character was the fact that she had to first know her truth and face her fears before she could evolve into the woman she was destined to become. This created a point of connection for me, as a woman on my own journey – a journey towards 40.

Now I’m not suggesting that turning 40 provokes the same sort of fear as fighting off evil creatures in a bid to save a magical world (in fact, I’m quite looking forward to turning 40); rather, knowing that I’m turning 40 has motivated me to get better acquainted with myself and more importantly, to not let my fears stand in the way of embracing new opportunities and challenges. Liv’s character provided me with a gentle reminder that as women we don’t have to necessarily be fearless, but rather, by facing our fears we open ourselves up to the possibility of revealing our own inner heroine at any age.

Jeanette Harrietha is an educator and the founder of WhereWomenConnect.com, an online social network that connects women for friendship. She loves to read, travel, create, and make life happen by embracing new experiences! You can pick up a copy of Lysterium on Amazon.

Needless to say 40 has turned out a lot differently than I’d imagined, but that’s turned out to be not such a bad thing.  Who says that if you haven’t gotten it done/figured out/accomplished by 40, you’ll never figure it out? Check out this great video by Mike Kravinsky, who runs one of my new favorite sites, Nextnik.com. The video, All Hail The Late Bloomer, serves as a reminder to us all that it’s never too late to be who you might have been…

Five fabulous websites I think you’ll love…

1. Whether you’re a travel buff or just want to make your 40th birthday getaway the trip of a lifetime, Stay.com can help.  Simply type in your destination and Stay shows you city highlights, hotel deals, restaurants, night life and much more. Add anything you’re interested in and Stay creates a personalized, printable travel guide. (Photo: Stay.com’s feature Bar De L’Entracte – Paris)

2. Wakerupper works with any phone in the U.S. or Canada and does just what it sounds like it does. Use Wakerupper to remind yourself of important events, birthdays and appointments or call your kids to get on them about their chores. My favorite use for Wakerupper – schedule a call to get out of a bad date! Type in your message and an automated voice calls and delivers it at the time you’ve scheduled.

3. Tired of the same walking/jogging/running route? Using your iphone, Walk Jog Run utilizes Google Maps and community involvement to map out the best routes in your area. It’s especially handy if you’re on vacation or traveling for business.

4. Ever wanted to know what the inside of that shop or restaurant looks like before you take the plunge? Everyscape provides three-dimensional, photo-realistic visual guides of cities and towns, restaurants and businesses. You can check out local restaurant menus, theater lay-outs, reviews and local attractions.

5. There’s Groupon and Living Social and now there’s The Dealmap. The Dealmap collects local deals from the largest number of sources and make them easy to find via Twitter, Facebook or through their own iPhone app. Dealmap offers deals and discounts for up to 90% off local restaurants, entertainment, attractions, hotels, spas, salons and shops.

Got a fave you’d like to see in a future Five for Friday? Send it contribute (@ )womenatforty.com (remove parenthesis and spaces before emailing.)

In the same email I received the “frittata” message, I got this Five in the Morning list courtesy of Chris’ Human Business Works site and I’ve gotten permission from his people to use it as this week’s Five for Friday. It’s five things you can do in ten minutes and it’s a great way to begin rethinking the way you approach productivity in the new year.

1. Write down the three things you MUST move forward on today. Tape it to your monitor. Add it to a notepad file on your computer. Send a reminder to “noon@nudgemail.com” with the three things in the body of the email. (more about nudgemail – not a sponsor).

2. Write down three things to STOP doing today. Do you really need to be subscribed and reading all those blogs? Which ones could you eliminate? Are there one or two TV shows you could stop watching today and replace with some work on your projects? Write down a few negative things to stop SAYING to yourself, too.

3. Once you finish reading this, send an email to someone you haven’t contacted lately that you value. Make the request/offer to connect with someone and work on a project with them in 2011.

4. Have a nice glass of water. So few of us are drinking enough water. This one glass will help your body flush out bad stuff, push out some fat, and get your skin feeling a little more supple. All for free (well, depending on where you get your water).

5. Go to your LinkedIn profile and double-check what the summary says about you. Is that what you want prospective business partners and colleagues to see? How could you make your LinkedIn profile work for you?

I’m putting together some great Five for Fridays for the new year. If you’ve got a suggestion, product or thought you’d like to share, email it to contribute(@)womenatforty.com. (Remove parenthesis)

Only 14 days left until Christmas, but it’s not too late to get great, affordable, eco-friendly stocking stuffers. Here are five that are sure to have people calling you “the eco-friendly elf”…

1. Fabric Journals – These elegantly striped red and orange cotton cover journals include braided string bookmarks  and are handcrafted by Indian artisans. The pages are made of acid-free recycled paper and bound in hand-woven cloth recycled from textile mills. $16 each.

2. Stainless Steel Food Carrier – A far cry from the boring brown bag lunch, this 3-tier Stainless Steel Tiffin Set (a lunch box system that hails from India) is reusable, lightweight, and has a lid with a fold down handle that doubles as a plate. It comes with a sidekick tiffin that’s great for dressings or sauces. Works for both cold or hot food. $24.95 each.

3. Fair Trade, Organic Dark Chocolate Minis – By purchasing certified Fair Trade chocolate you support traditional agricultural practices (small scale, shade grown, and chemical free) and small farmer families who own cocoa and sugar co-operatives in the Dominican Republic and Paraguay. At $9.95, you can even treat yourself to a bag. 40 minis in each bag.

4. Natural Bamboo Eco-Friendly Coaster Favors – This set of four all natural bamboo-green coasters measure approximately 3 1/2” and come in a great bamboo design box with a  natural raffia tie. $25 for a set of four.

5. Holiday Aromatherapy Beeswax Candles – These pure beeswax candles are specially scented and dyed for the holidays. The candles are made with 100% pure beeswax, naturally extracted essential oils, and 100% cotton wicks. The Beehive glasses burn for 40 hours and the glass gift sets for 24. Prices start at $8.

1. This lesson was  WAF’s Facebook‘Thought of the day’ earlier in the week, and although it might sound harsh, it’s true – Hope is not a strategy. Hope is great, necessary, can help us get out of bed on a Monday morning and motivate us to make it through the day, but hope is not a strategy. A strategy is a systematic plan of action. Hope is the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best. So if strategy is the cake, hope is the decorative rose on top – everybody loves the candy rose, but the cake is the main thing.

2. Advice can come from anywhere – and at any time. Lisa Price shared the story from the first year she was in business. Her husband was delivering product to customers on roller blades and they were still selling product out of their home. She was buying some products from a woman who told her that if she was ever asked to speak to students, she should just say yes. At the time a speaking engagement was something that was not only unfathomable, but terrifying. Two years later she was asked to address a group of students at university, and she remembered that woman’s advice and though petrified, said yes. Fast forward to today and several speaking engagements later and despite the current economy, Lisa recently broke a Home Shopping Network record by selling more than $2 million of product in six hours when she debuted Mary J. Blige’s first fragrance.

3. Don’t let your haters stop you from doing what you came here to do. Bestselling author Emily Giffin talked about quitting her job as a lawyer and deciding to move to England to work on her first novel. She recalled being on an elevator with one of the partners who had given her hell while she worked at the firm. He made a snide comment about hearing that she was leaving to “write a book” and scoffed. Emily talked about during the process of writing her book remembering his comment and thinking, “if this doesn’t work, I’ll have to go back there and he’ll know I failed.” Five bestsellers and a feature movie in the works later and it’s pretty obvious she did exactly what she was supposed to.

4. A million dollar idea in $10 shoes – I don’t like networking. Despite my sometimes incessant talking and alleged big mouth, I am a bit of an introvert, choosing to stay home with a good book over a networking event any day. But networking is a necessity so I’m working on getting better at it, but because I tend to hang back and watch people, I learn a lot of these types of events. I watch how people interact and notice the types of people other people gravitate to. One of the things I’ve learned is this – a lot of people will step over a million dollar idea because it’s wearing $10 shoes. Great ideas don’t always come in the shiniest packages or the “best” wrapping. Remember the old saying, don’t judge a book by it’s cover? It’s still true today. The next time you’re at an event, listen to the softest voice in the room, many times she’s the person with the most to say.

5. Do you – It’s become so trite now, it’s almost embarrassing to repeat, but it’s trite because it’s true. No one can or will do you better.  Doubt, discouragement, frustration is magnified when we try to be someone we aren’t. If you find yourself acting, speaking, thinking in a manner that contradicts who you feel you are at your core, stop. If it’s not you, you won’t be able to keep the act up for long and it will show. You might be a small mom and pop out of your garage, or you might be a million dollar enterprise destined for the Home Shopping Network – find your happy and live there.

Read more about Pink’s Empowerment event and its panelists here.

If you’ve got a Five for Friday you’d like to share, email me at contribute(@)womenatforty.com, and it could be featured in a future post!

The Artist’s Way calls this time an Artist’s Date, but you don’t have to be the next J.K. Rowling or Picasso to find these excursions helpful. All they involve is spending an hour away from the noise and bustle of every day life to focus on just about anything else. There’s nothing to buy and no agenda to follow. It’s just you, your thoughts and an hour of exploring something new. To get you started, here are five suggestions for your own artist’s date. A few caveats – turn your cell phone off, leave your wallet at home, make the artist’s date with you, and only you, and try to do it at least once a month.

1. Empty Church – Have you ever been inside a beautiful Catholic Church? Alone? Believer or not, the architecture alone is enough to get your mind off your problems for a while. Many church doors remain unlocked during weekdays. The next time you drive by one in between errands, run inside and sit for a while.

2. Antique Market – While you can find some great deals at an antique market, some of my best artist’s dates have involved simply strolling down the aisles of one of my local antique markets. Wandering the aisles and looking at and touching some of the pieces is like a living history lesson. My trick for not buying – I only bring $10 or less with me.

3. Farmers Markets – My love affair with the farmers market is legendary, but you don’t have to love cooking to enjoy visiting one. The one I visit is an international market with foods and spices from all over the world.  A day at the farmers market represents people watching at its finest, and you might leave with a great idea for your next dinner party.

4. Book Store – It’s hard to say which I love more, farmers markets or book stores, but if we’re clocking hours spent, book stores win hands down. Roam the aisles scanning current best-sellers, biographies or books you wouldn’t typically buy.

5. Cemetery – Full disclosure: This is one I have yet to try. But Kalin’s Cemetery Tour post planted a seed, and I’ll definitely be checking one out in the future. One thing’s for sure though, you will not catch me there after dark!

If you’ve got a great idea for an artist’s date, or for a future Five for Friday, email me at contribute(@)womenatforty.com.

1. From the Do You Edition - Personalize your pop! Personalized soda bottles are a great treat for your 40th birthday party. My Jones lets you choose from flavors like berry lemonade, green apple and vanilla bean, and then adds text and images of your choosing. A 3-pack sampler kit starts at just $3.99.

2. From The Facebook Edition -  Revolution of Real Women – is a global movement advocating the empowerment of females in reclaiming their freedom of individuality, self-esteem and unique beauty. Why do we love RORW? This was a recent Facebook status “Skinny isn’t out. Curves aren’t in. One type of body isn’t more REAL than another. The ‘in’ body is the one YOU were born with.” Who can argue with that? You can follow RORW on Facebook or check out images of real women on Flickr. Update: They’ve recently re-launched their website. Check it out here.

3. From the Women Blogger’s Rock Edition - If you’re a member of the curly girl club (or your daughter is), then you’ll love Curly Niki’s natural hair site. In Niki’s words, her site was created “to inspire, educate and motivate people that wear their hair naturally–be it curly hair, kinky hair, or wavy hair.” Curly Niki provides techniques, product reviews and a vibrant online community of natural hairistas.

4. From the Free City Adventures Edition – Rome, Italy – A girl can dream can’t she? And so can you! Ok, so technically it’s not a destination in the U.S., but Rome is definitely on my bucket list. But after paying for airfare and room & board, I’ll need all the freeness I can get my happy little hands on. For starters, I think I’ll visit The Pantheon. Built in 27 B.C., it’s the oldest standing domed structure in Rome. Then I’ll take a stroll through the ruins of what was once the commercial, governmental, and religious center of ancient Rome – the Foro Romano, or the Roman Forum.  A trip to Rome wouldn’t be complete without a visit to The Trevi Fountain.  Inspired by Roman triumphal arches, The Trevi fountain is the largest and most famous Baroque fountain in Rome. And since tradition has it that throwing a coin into the water guarantees your return to Rome, I’m planning on throwing at least 10 in there!

5. From the Be A… Edition – Be a peacekeeper - PeaceKeeper “cause-metics” is the first cosmetics line to give all of its after-tax, distributable profits to women’s health advocacy and urgent human rights issues. Their ideals include supporting slavery free labor, fair wages and cruelty free products. Their product line includes eco-friendly nail polish remover, lip gloss and lip paint. Check out PeaceKeeper “cause”metics and don’t just look beautiful – do something beautiful too.

Have a suggestion for a future Five for Friday? Email me at contribute[at]womenatforty.com.

1. Honey & Oatmeal Mask – The benefits of oatmeal have been touted for years, but did you know that it also makes for a great facial? Best applied at night, this oatmeal and honey mask is safe for almost all skin types.  Mix ½ cup fast cooking oatmeal and ½ cup water and cook. Let the oatmeal cool about 5-7 minutes, then add ¼ cup honey.  Mix well into a paste.  Apply this ‘mask’ to cleansed skin, and let dry. Rinse after about 15 minutes. I found this recipe at Diva Village, click here for more great info from their site.

2. Coffee anyone? – When you’re done with your morning cup of Joe, don’t dump those coffee grounds, use them to exfoliate. Mix 1/4 cup used coffee grounds and one egg white. Massage onto face, let it dry and then rinse with warm water. Caffeinated coffee grounds can also be used to help relieve cellulite and remove common kitchen odors. Check out additional uses and recipes here.

3. To lighten dark circles under eyes wrap a grated raw potato in cheesecloth and apply to eyelids for 15-20 minutes. Wipe off residue and apply an eye cream (see #5). For more homemade beauty recipes, visit healthrecipes.com.

4. Banana & Yogurt, and no, it’s not a smoothie! – For all you naturally curly/kinky ladies, the combination of banana, yogurt and coconut cream results in a treatment that adds much needed moisture and softness to overstressed tresses. I found a pretty good recipe at  A Girl Can Mac, and great discussion threads at Naturallycurly.com. Check out the conversation and tweak the recipe for your specific needs.

5. Vitamin E – A friend,who looks ten years younger than she is, attributes her radiant skin to good genes and Vitamin E. She buys natural Vitamin E oil at her local health food store, or when time or budget doesn’t permit, buys vitamin E capsules, breaks them and applies the oil directly to her face. When I do it consistently I find that my skin is smoother, softer and more moisturized, particularly in the winter months.

As with all products – homemade or not – everyone’s experience will be a bit different. Be mindful of allergies (citrus oils make me look like Will Smith pre-Benadryl in Hitch), and experiment with the recipes and ingredients until you find the combination that’s right for you. If you’ve got any tried and true natural beauty recipes that work for you, share them with the WAF community in the comment section or on our Facebook fan page.

1. Baby Cuddling – Early cuddling is vital to a child’s emotional well-being. Studies show that children who have been deprived of close physical contact have lower levels of social-bonding hormones. As a volunteer baby cuddler, you’d be trained to handle, hold, rock, and pat hospitalized infants. Call your local hospital or long-term childcare facility and ask the volunteer coordinator about baby cuddling programs at their facility.

2. Each month, PBS reaches more than 120 million people through television and nearly 21 million people online. But before there was a PBS.org, there was Sesame Street, Reading Rainbow and Mr. Rogers. Now there’s Elmo, PBSKids and a father’s touching tribute to his daughter’s hair. As a child, PBS was my window onto the world. It has ushered generations of kids into adulthood without political agenda and while representing all the colors of the rainbow. Show PBS they’re appreciated by becoming a member of your local station, providing In-Kind Services through your company, or simply by volunteering. Visit PBS.org’s support page to learn how.

3. A recipe for lasting change – Heifer International is a non-profit organization whose goal is to help end world hunger and poverty through self-reliance & sustainability. I’ve been a Heifer International Supporter for years and here’s why. By giving a gift of livestock, Heifer helps a family which helps build a business which helps build a community. Watch a short video about Heifer here. Visit their Give page to learn more about volunteer opportunities, helping schools around the globe, hosting a Heifer fund-raising event and more.

4. Reading is Fundamental (RIF) – Remember the RIF PSA? RIF was founded on the premise that one person can make a difference in the life of one child and one community. Its mission is to motivate young children to read by working with them, their parents, and community members. It accomplishes this through monetary donations, book donations and volunteer efforts across the country. Visit RIF’s volunteer page to find volunteer opportunities in your area or to make a tax-deductible donation of $25 click here.

5. Volunteer on Demand – Want a way to search for other volunteer efforts by type and location? Visit Charityguide.org for hundreds of ways to volunteer your time – 15 minutes at a time.  Make volunteering a family event and help spread the giving nature to the next generation.