Joist and muicy: Lingual lapses and other things that happen with increasing frequency at forty

chocolate cake Today I was on the phone describing how great the chocolate cake looked at the coffee shop where I was working. I told the person on the other line that the caked looked really “joist and muicy.”  That’s not a typo. That’s exactly what I said. These days, stuff like that is coming out of my mouth waaay too often. I call them “lingual lapses” and frankly, they’re not cute when done in mixed company.

Lingual lapses aren’t the only behavioral shifts I’m noticing happening with increasing frequency. On my way to do that thing in the kitchen, I stop to add water to the dog’s bowl, recycle the old newspaper that’s been sitting on my counter for a week and check myself out in the hall mirror (yup, it’s still there.) It’s not until I’m seated again, in front of the TV, slippers kicked off, feet propped up, and deep in the middle of one of the 17 Law & Order dramas currently on TV, that I hear the pop in the kitchen that reminds me that the boiling egg I got up to turn off 20 minutes ago is now burning at the bottom of an empty pot.

Is this what I have to look forward to at forty? Forgetfulness, brain farts and lingual lapses? I know what you’re thinking – Ginko Biloba.  I bought some, immediately misplaced it and when I finally found it again, routinely forgot to take it. Is there a Ginko that reminds you to take Ginko? Pre-Ginko maybe? Can somebody send me some? Just wait a second while I look up my address.

Even those of you feeling absolutely fabulous about turning forty have got to admit to your own lingual lapses. Share some of your funniest with Women at Forty. I promise I’ll remember to post them.

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