Rumor has it I have a gray hair. While official reports have the number as high as three, those reports can neither be confirmed nor denied on account of the fact that I refuse to confirm or deny them. The real story here is not that I “allegedly” have three gray hairs, it’s how I reacted when I realized I had them. And by realized I mean my sister pointing to my head and saying in her best outside voice, “girl, you have a gray hair!”
For years I prided myself on being one of those women for whom things like wrinkles, crow’s feet and gray hairs just did not matter. To me, they were all signs of wisdom and beauty. And as a conscientious objector of today’s “youthification” movement that says women should immediately rid themselves of all signs of aging, I’d loudly declare that I was never going to color my grays. So…what’s up with my reaction to these darn grays? (photo credit: Piedrastudio)
After I yanked that sucker out at the root (I sure did), I sat down and thought about my reaction. I realized, it’s not the gray that bothers me – it’s what it represents. For me it represents getting older, but not the getting older that society focuses on – not the wrinkles or the changes in our bodies. It’s coming to grips with the fact that what’s 40 today will be 50, 60 and God willing 80 one day. It’s the thought of losing loved ones along the way. And it’s facing the reality that there are some really great things in life that I’ll never get to experience.
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t have a morbid fascination with getting older or dying. In fact the opposite is true – these days, I’m more determined than ever to enjoy my life and do the things I once only dreamed of doing. But there are moments – fleeting moments like the one I experienced when I saw that gray hair – when I come face to face with my own mortality, and frankly, it makes me a little sad. And something tells me nothing they sell in a bottle can do anything about it.
Are you ok with the gray? Not just the changing color of your hair, but what it represents? Share your thoughts in the comment section or on our Facebook fan page.