Dangling over the precipice of 40 – Part 2

woman on cliff Editor’s Note: Esther’s back reflecting on the blessings of her 30’s and choosing to feel positive, excited, and empowered about growing older.

Alas, these changes which tend to bum me out all too often are also paired with some wonderful blessings and gifts which totally eluded me in my 20’s:

  • Material comfort- finally earning a decent living, owning a house and an office, being able to fix up our home and buy nice things, traveling regularly, and treating myself to the spa regularly. For the first time in my adult life, I don’t need to worry about money and paying the bills. This has been a dream come true after so many years of struggling to get by.
  • A 12-year relationship with the man of my dreams- feeling totally committed, cozy, loved, lovable, and sharing my life with someone who totally gets me and who is truly my best friend.
  • The stability to finally have pets! I have two loving and adorable Siberian cats that add so much joy and comfort to my daily round. (Photo credit: suvodeb)

Continue reading Dangling over the precipice of 40 – Part 2

Dangling over the precipice of 40 – Part 1

esther kane Editor’s Note: Esther Kane’s a counselor, published author and a friend of Women at Forty. She’s also a woman on the verge of turning 40 herself. In her piece, Dangling Over the Precipice of 40, Esther candidly shares her emotions about approaching 40. In part 1 she talks about not realizing the beauty of her 20’s, until her body began to change in her 30’s. I can relate to a lot of what Esther writes about as she dangles over the precipice of 40…

Although I’m not quite sure how it happened, I recently turned 39.  This came as a huge shock as I remember my 20’s so vividly- as if they were yesterday. It seems to me that once you hit 20, the process of ageing accelerates exponentially until you’ve barely gotten used to the decade you’re currently in and no sooner-whoosh! – It disappears in a flash of lightening and you’re propelled (or catapulted as it often feels) into the next decade kicking and screaming all the way. (Photo: Esther Kane)

Continue reading Dangling over the precipice of 40 – Part 1

Esther Kane on: Celebrating our authentic bodies

j0433335 I want to cover a topic that I’ve wanted to speak to for a long time – plastic surgery. I must confess that this is an area I gave little attention to in the past as I have been in my ‘prime’ for a good number of years being young with good skin and a curvaceous body. However, I have just turned 38 and with the increase of years have also come some things I hate to admit have shocked me to the core. These include:

Act your age not your shoe size: It’s ok to grow up

mariah carey memoirs Prince may have said it best, but it’s a sentiment many of us can relate to – Act your age, not your shoe size.  Lately, in the rush to proclaim 40 as the new 30 – or even 25 – we’ve noticed a trend of 40 year old women who seem, frankly, afraid to grow up.  While the phenomenon is most clearly evident in celebrities whose attire, song lyrics and on-stage movements mimic those of pubescent teens, it’s evident in everyday life as well.

We see it the cliquey group of friends who brag about who they’re wearing and what they’re driving in the never ending effort to best their own circle of friends. It’s evident in discussions about relationships that sound like they’re being had by naive 16 year olds, not 40 year olds who’ve been around the block a few times. And it’s hinted at in conversations that center around who likes who and who’s not our friend anymore (insert pouted lip visual here.) Life, relationships and our own insecurities are difficult to navigate for sure, but at some point, it really is ok to grow up.

Continue reading Act your age not your shoe size: It’s ok to grow up

I’m Fabulous, Right?

j0443616 Editor’s Note: Today Women at Forty introduces Registered Clinical Counselor and fellow blogger Esther Kane.  She is a practicing psychotherapist in Courtenay, Canada and has over a decade of experience counseling women and their loved ones. In her post “I’m fabulous, right?” Esther tackles the issue of the self-esteem roller coaster we sometimes find ourselves on…


Hello Fellow Women (Wait a second…aren’t “fellows” men? How do we feminize this word?), Well, hello to all of you anyway until we come up with a better alternative to “fellow”…

In this issue of my e-zine, I want to talk with you gals about that much-touted, not-so-easy to obtain, pop-psychology all-star concept; self-esteem. We all want to know:  What is it? How do I get me some of that?  How do I make it stay? Continue reading I’m Fabulous, Right?