1. IHR – Infertility Health Resources

Many women at 40 struggle with infertility issues. Infertility Health Resources, or IHR is a clearinghouse clearinghouse for online infertility information. It covers diagnosis, treatment options, financial issues, legal issues, adoption, and support groups.

2. National Women’s Health Resource Center
The National Women’s Health Resource Center is a non-profit, national clearinghouse for women’s health information. It develops original health materials and content for women and provides links to related news, educational opportunities, and national organizations. It also has information about books and contacts for local health departments.

3. Hormone Foundation: Women’s Health
Developed by the Endocrine Society, the purpose of Hormone.org is to provide information to consumers on hormone-related health issues. Information is available on various prevention, treatment and cure of hormone-related conditions. Additional resources include, Find-an-Endocrinologist, information about new hormone related clinical trials, and Spanish translation of many of the informational resources.

4. Mayo Clinic Women’s Health
The Mayo Clinic provides up to the minute research on women’s health. There’s even a special section called Ask a Specialist, where you can find the answers to anything not already covered on the site. For the very latest in medical research for women, check out the blog and podcasts.

5. Our Bodies Ourselves
The Boston Women’s Health Book Collective has created a companion Web site for their classic book, Our Bodies, Ourselves. It provides both clinical and psychosocial information about women’s health issues and offers resources in both English and Spanish. The site has current health news and Web links.

If you’ve got a fave – or five – you’d like to see featured in a future Five for Friday, send your submission to contribute@womenatforty.com. And don’t forget to fan us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter!

Editor’s Note: Esther’s back reflecting on the blessings of her 30’s and choosing to feel positive, excited, and empowered about growing older.

Alas, these changes which tend to bum me out all too often are also paired with some wonderful blessings and gifts which totally eluded me in my 20’s:

• Material comfort- finally earning a decent living, owning a house and an office, being able to fix up our home and buy nice things, traveling regularly, and treating myself to the spa regularly. For the first time in my adult life, I don’t need to worry about money and paying the bills. This has been a dream come true after so many years of struggling to get by.
• A 12-year relationship with the man of my dreams- feeling totally committed, cozy, loved, lovable, and sharing my life with someone who totally gets me and who is truly my best friend.
• The stability to finally have pets! I have two loving and adorable Siberian cats that add so much joy and comfort to my daily round. (Photo credit: suvodeb)
  

• A fantastic career as a therapist- I run my own private practice in person and via phone and Skype all across Canada and have no one to answer to but myself. I set my own hours, fees, and manage to find balance between work, play, and rest.
• Coming into my own and feeling comfortable in my own skin- I’ve learned to settle into who I am and to befriend myself in a way I never could have dreamed of in my 20’s. I actually like and appreciate who I am and have stopped apologizing for perceived flaws (either in myself or through the eyes of others).

Even with all of these blessings, I am completely bewildered at how I could possibly be turning 40 on my next birthday and don’t exactly relish the thought. Ideally, I’d love to be able to magically mix my 20’s looks with my 30’s wisdom and stability and stay 30 forever, but as we all know, this is an impossibility (maybe not for long due to how advanced science is these days…)

So I guess my only choice is to proverbially ‘like it or lump it’…I choose liking it-okay, maybe I don’t exactly LIKE it, but I am choosing to feel positive, excited, and empowered about growing older. I guess it beats the alternative- being fearful, resentful, and living in regret or staying stuck by denying the entire aging process altogether. I definitely don’t want to become one of those women who do anything and everything in her power to stay youthful looking as long as is humanly possible. I definitely don’t find that empowering.

The fact is, we are all going to get older (that’s if we live long enough and are lucky enough), so we might as well have a positive attitude about it. To end, I’ll leave you with a list of some things I hope to enjoy in my 40’s- the next decade life will soon hand me:

• Continuing the amazingly rewarding and successful career I have and trying some new things like doing more video/television work, seeing more and more clients via Skype and telephone, speaking at conferences and doing more tours with my books.
• Enjoying more of the good life with my darling hubby- taking fun trips, more dance lessons, more barbecues on our back deck, and enjoying our dear friends.
• Richer and more satisfying friendships with other women- I have started to build these in my 30’s and look forward to nurturing and enriching these amazing bonds with my peers.
• More time with my family- traveling to exotic places together and enjoying family vacations/family time.
• Letting go of painful things, which happened in my past in other words-more therapy!
• Enjoying my hard-earned wisdom and passing it onto future generations of girls and women.
• Accepting my looks and body, as they are no matter what age I am.
• Enjoying more hobbies I love but don’t spend enough time doing like reading, knitting, mosaic-making, dancing, and doing hot yoga. Doing more writing and publishing.

Esther Kane, MSW, Registered Clinical Counselor, is the author of the book and audio program, “It’s Not About the Food: A Woman’s Guide To Making Peace with Food and Our Bodies” (www.endyoureatingdisorder.com) and “Dump That Chump”(www.dumpthatchump.com), and “What Your Mama Can’t or Won’t Teach You”(www.guidebooktowomanhood.com). Sign up for her free monthly e-zine, Women’s Community Counselor, to uplift and inspire women at: http://www.estherkane.com.

Editor’s Note: Esther Kane’s a counselor, published author and a friend of Women at Forty. She’s also a woman on the verge of turning 40 herself. In her piece, Dangling Over the Precipice of 40, Esther candidly shares her emotions about approaching 40. In part 1 she talks about not realizing the beauty of her 20’s, until her body began to change in her 30’s. I can relate to a lot of what Esther writes about as she dangles over the precipice of 40…

Although I’m not quite sure how it happened, I recently turned 39.  This came as a huge shock as I remember my 20’s so vividly- as if they were yesterday. It seems to me that once you hit 20, the process of ageing accelerates exponentially until you’ve barely gotten used to the decade you’re currently in and no sooner-whoosh! – It disappears in a flash of lightening and you’re propelled (or catapulted as it often feels) into the next decade kicking and screaming all the way. (Photo: Esther Kane)

There I was enjoying all the benefits bestowed upon us gals in our 20’s- gorgeous skin, great hair, enviable body, powering my way through the grind we call ‘higher education’, finding my soul mate, marrying him, moving in together, and buying our first home. I excitedly jumped into the workforce to pursue my dreams of becoming a therapist, only to be whacked over the head by a whole lot of grim reality (nasty boss, toxic work environments, little pay, long hours, and vicarious traumatization that many newbie therapists experience until we hit bottom and learn the delicate but life-saving art of self-care).

Did I appreciate how gorgeous and fabulous I was in my 20’s?  Unfortunately, the answer is an emphatic NO. I was never happy with my body, no matter how fit, flexible, or sexy it looked to others. I hadn’t yet realized how fleeting physical beauty really is and didn’t know that the really smart thing to do was to feel incredibly blessed and grateful for my youth and all of the gifts that come with it. I was too busy struggling in poverty while I worked my butt off in university to get the education I needed to live my dream of becoming a therapist. In all, it took 7 years of full-time studies and then a 2-year part time stint in family therapy school while I worked at meaningless, low-paying jobs to pay the rent.

So in retrospect, in my near-40’s wisdom, I realize that I may have had a rocking’ bod, great looks, and mucho sex appeal, but I was dirt poor living in damp, dark, miserable basement suites in Toronto and Vancouver and budgeting like crazy to make ends meet (which they sometimes did not and I had to beg family for money which felt terrible). And the exhaustion-it was sometimes overwhelming. So much studying, working, catching public transit to get all over the city, and crying in my bathtub at night from the stress and loneliness of it all…not fun.

Then 30 just happened to me one day while I was quietly minding my business and my 30’s have been a mix of blessings and disappointments. Among the disappointments, most have been physical signs of ageing which have all been new and somewhat traumatic at first including:

• Grey hairs- a word of advice- tweezing individual hairs eventually becomes a race no one wins- I’ve opted for hair dye
• Boobs drooping substantially- yes gals, it really does happen! Mine now resemble pancakes when viewed from the side.
• Body shape and size constantly changing- this includes new stuff where there didn’t used to be any in the form of extra fat (the biggest shock of all was discovering back fat- horror of horrors!) The term ’let it roll’ has come to have an entirely new meaning for me.
• The inability to lose that extra 5-10 pounds which mysteriously appears on my body as quickly as I used to be able to drop it.
• Looser skin around my eyes and lack of the ‘bounce back’ factor it used to have while applying eye makeup. I liken the skin around my eyes to a snail, which slowly slithers along and eventually reaches it’s destination.
• Lack of sex drive- you know you’re getting older when the idea of flannel PJ’s and a good book is more appealing than seducing the man who sleeps next to you (who is still very attractive BTW.)

But the 30’s weren’t all bad. On Wednesday Esther reflects on the 30’s that have also brought her wonderful blessings…

________________________________
Esther Kane, MSW, Registered Clinical Counsellor, is the author of the book and audio program, “It’s Not About the Food: A Woman’s Guide To Making Peace with Food and Our Bodies” (www.endyoureatingdisorder.com) and “Dump That Chump”(www.dumpthatchump.com), and “What Your Mama Can’t or Won’t Teach You”(www.guidebooktowomanhood.com). Sign up for her free monthly e-zine, Women’s Community Counsellor, to uplift and inspire women at: http://www.estherkane.com.

Editor’s Note: Since returning to walking after taking just a week off from my recently established daily walking routine, I’m really feeling it. My body is no longer as forgiving as it used to be. I’m sluggish, lacking energy, and although I never thought I’d say it, missing my morning walks. Besides the physical benefits of walking, I’m experiencing the stress release and mental clarity that accompanies a nice long walk. Jacqueline, who runs the website, The Aging Suite, suggested I add Tai Chi to my workouts. Today she tells us why Tai Chi can be beneficial, especially to women at 40.

Ok, so when you think about Tai Chi, you don’t exactly think about something someone in their 40’s is doing. You may think, it’s great for my mom and dad and even grandparents, but for me, not so much. Well, think again. Tai Chi is a great form of exercise regardless of your age. Tai Chi is a traditional form of Chinese martial arts that has been practiced in China for centuries. Its benefits and forms have spread throughout the world. Tai Chi is also a low intensity exercise; its movements are smooth, non-jarring, and work joints through their full range of motion. It is believed to have many health benefits including improving flexibility.Alright, I’m 40 or in my 40’s, and am pretty flexible, what can Tai Chi do for me? Research suggests that Tai Chi is also beneficial for younger women in helping to improve their balance and blood pressure. A 2004 article studied the effects of Tai Chi on Chinese women aged 33-55. The women in the study had not participated in other types of exercise or sport for at least 2 years and had not previously done Tai Chi. The women took The Tai Chi classes 3 times a week for 12 weeks. At the end of the study, the women’s systolic and diastolic blood pressures had decreased. They also demonstrated improvements in balance when compared with another group who had not done Tai Chi. To read the article in its entirety, check out this link at Oxford Journals.

Other believed benefits of Tai Ch include:

• Improved muscle strength

• Reduced risk of multiple falls

• Lower blood pressure

• Improvements with muscles that control posture

• Improved balance

• Improved cardio fitness

• Lower levels of depression

• Reduced stress and anxiety

To learn more about the benefits of Tai Chi, visit The Aging Suite.

Jacqueline is an Occupational Therapist and blogger. She is the Senior Editor of The Aging Suite, a site that offers tips for aging in place for seniors and their families.

Editor’s Note:

How often have you had the experience of pigging out on something and once you’d consumed a lot of it, realized you didn’t even like it? I know I have. Eating things we don’t really want is part of the “mindless eating” phenomenon that is so prevalent in our society. We can easily fall into this trap, what I recently heard someone refer to as a “snackcident”, when we’re not paying attention to what and how we are eating.

Also, many of us learned as children that it was a sin to not eat everything on our plates, and some were even forced to eat everything they were given so that they could leave the table! But if you can go back in time and recapture some of your childhood eating memories, can you remember how repulsed you felt by certain foods? Mine was turnip…Just smelling cooked turnip was enough to make me run for cover when I was little.

As adults, and especially as dieters, we may have become increasingly disconnected with our true food likes and dislikes, and will often eat things just because we think they are “good for us.” I’d like to help you reconnect with your inner child so that she can help you re-learn what foods “call to you” and those you’d rather avoid.

For homework, try answering the following questions in your journal or on a piece of paper:

Make a list of foods you want but do not allow yourself to buy or eat.

What foods are you eating that you don’t really want?

If you allowed yourself to have the foods you want, whenever you are craving them, what do you think would happen?

Roadblock #4: Eating When You’re Not Hungry

The Hunger/Satiety Scale

Hunger has a wide range of intensities. Pay attention to your hunger and fullness cues. Imagine hunger as a scale from 1 to 10 where 1 is hunger to the point of light-headedness, 5 is no hunger, and 10 is “Thanksgiving full” where you may even start to feel pain. Ideally, you want to stay in the middle of this range between slightly hungry and comfortably full. If you allow yourself to get too hungry, everything starts to look good and it’s easy to overeat. On the other hand, if you are always eating before you feel hungry, you are ignoring the natural signals that help you maintain a regular body weight. It is important to stop eating just before you feel full because it takes time for the brain to get the fullness message. Some days you will be more active and require more energy than others, so respond to hunger cues appropriately.

Homework: To learn about satisfaction, at your next meal, try eating half the food on your plate, and then give yourself a rating of where you are on the hunger/satiety scale. If you are at number five or above, stop eating.

Roadblock #5: Sneaking Food

This is a very important area to address, as there is a huge correlation between the phenomenon of sneak-eating and problematic relationships with food and body image. In the 10+ years that I’ve been working as a therapist specializing in disordered eating, I have not yet met one client who has made peace with food and their body without stopping the “sneak-eating” habit.

Homework:
Write a list of the ways in which you eat less than what you want because you are in the presence of others.

Write a list of the ways in which you currently sneak food.

Write a list of the specific foods you sneak. Is there a pattern? What do you notice?

Write a list of the ways in which you hide your eating. Is there a pattern? What do you notice?

__________________________________________________________

Esther Kane, MSW, RCC relocated to the Comox Valley over two years ago from Vancouver. She is in full-time private practise as a psychotherapist in Courtenay. Esther has over a decade of experience counselling women and their loved ones with a multitude of presenting problems. Her main focus is helping women to become free of barriers which keep them stuck so that they can become all that they dream of being. You can learn more about Esther on her website www.estherkane.com.

This article was originally posted on www.estherkane.com. It is reposted with the author’s permission.

The irony in my resisting a positive lifestyle change is that when it comes to diet and health, I’ve been been making poor lifestyle decisions for much of my adult life. By not taking my health and well being into my own hands, that’s exactly what I’ve been doing – committing to a lifestyle – but a bad one. Why is it easier committing to doing bad for the rest of your life than committing to doing good? Maybe some of you who are wiser can shed some light on that for the rest of us. In the meantime, I’m beginning my work on doing the right thing.

For me, the right thing looks like reducing the amount of animal protein in my diet. It’s committing to buying and preparing only ethically raised meat and poultry when I do consume animal protein. And I’ve also decided to stick to a reduced monthly grocery budget. Having done it over the past month I’ve realized that I waste a lot less food and take less for granted. Another step in the right direction is returning to a time when I always gave thanks for my food. At the dinner table when we were growing up, my father would ask God to “bless this food to our bodies, and our bodies to your service.” It was a simple but powerful prayer, one that I’ve gotten away from saying as an adult.

So as I begin the process of permanently folding my new lifestyle changes into my daily life, I keep reminding myself that success in the long run comes, as with everything else in life, one day at a time. I don’t have to think about being healthy and living healthy for the next (hopefully) 50 years, I just have to make those little decisions today that add up to making the day a good one. Then repeat, one day at a time.

Editors Note:

Roadblock #1: Distracted Eating

I’m guessing you know what I’m talking about here. Who among us doesn’t “multitask” on a daily basis; especially while we are eating? I have noticed that in our North American culture, the preparation and consuming of food seems to be little more than an inconvenience in our stressed-out, busy lives. I, myself, have become particularly adept at eating while driving, which not only takes the joy out of a meal, but also is very dangerous. I liken it to talking on a cell phone while driving- a very bad habit.

How many of you eat while also doing the following:

• Watching television?
• Driving?
• Working at your job?
• Having an argument?
• Sitting at the computer?
• Walking?
• Talking on the phone?

You’re not alone! Here are some statistics:

• North American adults spend an average of 1 hour and 12 minutes per day eating, yet they spend between 2 ½-3 hours per day watching television.
• 66% of Americans report regularly eating dinner in front of the television.

Why should you eat mindfully?

You will eat less and get out of the habit of overeating

Americans have been gaining weight for quite some time. The most recent National Center for Health Statistics report found that 32% of all U.S. adults are obese according to the government’s Body Mass Index (BMI) classification system. By contrast, just 23% of adults were classified as obese in government surveys taken from 1988 through 1994. Government surveys also find that the increase in weight is in part related to an increase in calorie and dietary intake. In short, people are eating more.

• If the mind is focused on more than one task while eating, critical signs that regulate food intake may not be received by the brain. If the brain fails to receive important messages such as the sensation of taste and satisfaction, it may not register the event as “eating”. When this happens, your brain continues to send out hunger signals, increasing your risk of overeating.

• You will drastically improve your digestive health: Recent research has found that when our mind is distracted during a meal, the digestive process may be 30-40% less effective.

For homework, I want you to practice eating without distractions. To help you achieve this, here are my “top 10” strategies for mindful eating:

1. Only eat while sitting.
2. Set a place for yourself at the table with a placemat, cutlery, napkin, and a glass for a beverage.
3. Eat away from your work area- in a lunchroom, restaurant, or outside.
4. Eat with chopsticks- it will automatically slow you down.
5. Take a few deep breaths before you eat to calm and center yourself.
6. Chew each bite at least 30 times before swallowing
7. Give thanks for your meal and appreciate that you have food to eat.
8. If you are eating with others, avoid upsetting conversation over meals and instead, practise eating quietly and mindfully with the other person.
9. Turn off the phone at all mealtimes so you won’t be interrupted.
10. Eat at the same time every day for each of your three meals and make sure it takes you a minimum of 20 minutes to eat a meal.

__________________________________________________________

Esther Kane, MSW, RCC relocated to the Comox Valley over two years ago from Vancouver. She is in full-time private practise as a psychotherapist in Courtenay. Esther has over a decade of experience counselling women and their loved ones with a multitude of presenting problems. Her main focus is helping women to become free of barriers which keep them stuck so that they can become all that they dream of being. You can learn more about Esther on her website www.estherkane.com.

This article was originally posted on www.estherkane.com. It is reposted with the author’s permission.

For the past 3 weeks I’ve been able to buy healthy, whole, unprocessed foods, on a budget of approximately $25 a week. I promised to make my eating more about health and wholeness and less about carbs and calorie counting and I did. And, miracle of miracles, I have not stepped on the scale once in the past month. Was it a piece of cake? No. But it wasn’t that hard either. As is the case with most life challenges we undertake, I’ve discovered a few things along the way.

• For one, I’m very fortunate to live within a few miles of a farmers market, Trader Joe’s and a vegetarian food co-op. I’m very aware that being in close proximity to these places makes healthier, conscious eating, much easier. That realization is helping me not to take that fact for granted.
• Putting limitations on how much and what I could eat, made me much less wasteful and much more thankful.  I realized that, when it comes to food anyway, I’ve been confusing my needs with my wants for years. My “little” $25 budget is how millions of people live out of necessity every day. In fact, in most of the world, $25 a week for food is a luxury. Putting myself on a budget reminded me of just how blessed I am in that I have access to three squares and clean drinking water every single day.
• From as far back as I can remember I’ve allowed an over-emphasis on what and how much I’m eating to control my life. Calorie counts and fat content have become more important to me than where my food is coming from and what impact it will have on my health and the environment. At 39 1/2, if I don’t get a grip on that now, who knows when I ever will. Last week when I demolished those chicken thighs with 5 days left in the week, I was forced to sit with the fact that I do not manage food the way most people do. Getting a grip on what I should and shouldn’t do when it comes to food is key in my quest to be fit at 40.

The experiment might be winding down, but my revised way of thinking about eating healthier and more consciously is just beginning. At the end of the week I’ll update you on how my last week went and I’ll share my plans for moving forward.

If you’re involved in your own Fit at Forty challenge and would like to share it with our readers, send your story to contribute@womenatforty.com.

On Wednesday morning as I sat down to eat yet another bowl of oatmeal, I thought, “I can NOTeat another bowl of oatmeal.” You see, sadly, unlike my longstanding relationship with chicken, I have no addiction to, or affinity for, oatmeal. Especially when it’s not drowning in brown sugar, cinnamon or the fake little chunks of apple or peach they add to those handy pre-packaged individual-serving size- bags.  No, now that I’m getting my oatmeal au naturale, it’s become an acquired taste I have yet to acquire. But the sweet potato, that was something I could work with, and work with it I did. A little bit of seasoning and a pat of butter, and that little root vegetable became the highlight of my chickenless-by my own doing-beanfilled week.

Next week, I’m putting off the grocery shopping until Monday and preparing my meals (at least the ones involving chicken) on a daily basis in the hopes of keeping the I-must-eat-all-this-chicken-at-once monster at bay. Wish me luck!

Image source: Ehow.com

Grace is a blogger and Women at Forty’s Senior Editor. She shares her weight loss challenges and experiences weekly in our Health & Beauty – Fit at Forty section.

The easiest way to explain my obsession affinity for chicken is to quote my (vegetarian) sister, “It’s in your system.” I like it stir fried, baked, stuffed, grilled, stewed, curried, browned…basically, if you cook it, I’ll eat it. You know how they talk about people being carbohydrate addicts, why don’t they ever mention the protein addicts? I know they exist because I am one. I went years without eating red meat, and could live without it now. The same goes for most other meat, but anyone who knows me knows how much I enjoy cooking and eating chicken. So when I baked my six very small chicken thighs (did I mention they were very small) and told myself they’d last the entire week, not even the dog believed me.

If you do the math you’ll see that if you eat two thighs per serving for both lunch and dinner you’ll have chicken for exactly a day and half. Which brings me to this week’s lessons:

Lesson number one – The next time I blow a considerable percentage of my meager $25 budget on free range chicken (my total for this week was $25.67) I’ll cut it up into bite sized pieces the way it’s done in many Asian dishes. That will stretch it over a longer period of time. Hopefully.

Lesson number two – Know your weakness, be honest about it and plan for it. Superman has his Kryptonite, I have my chicken. Next time I’ll only cook an individual serving at a time because as much as I love chicken, I’m not eating it raw and no matter how much I’m fiending for it, I won’t cook a batch up at midnight.

Lesson number three – if you eat all the good stuff at once, you’re back to beans for the rest of the week. Chick peas anyone?

The other thing I realized during this week’s grocery run was how much force feeding and injecting chickens fatten them up! It’s pretty shocking when you think about it. The free range chicken wasn’t nearly as large as the other chicken. And has anyone noticed that chicken just doesn’t taste the way it used to – specifically the fast food kind? Are our taste buds maturing as we get older or is the chicken just not cutting it anymore? Anyway, I’ll be back at the end of the week for an update on the now chicken-less remainder of my week. Bon Appétit!

Grace is a blogger and Women at Forty ‘s Senior Editor. She shares her weight loss challenges and experiences weekly in our Health & Beauty – Fit at Forty section.