Unfortunately, or fortunately as I now see it, layoffs are nothing new to me. I’ve been handed my walking papers three times in my almost 20 year career. And although that might not seem like a lot, when you’re a dedicated employee who (for the most part) enjoys the work you do, a layoff can feel like a punch in the gut.

The first time I was laid off was while I was working at an adult vocational school. There’d been a curriculum change that made the courses I, and a few other instructors were teaching, obsolete. After they told us about the impending change, they told us that they’d be serving cake and ice cream in the break room to say thanks. Today, although I know they meant well, getting sugary treats with my walking papers still feels a lot like Marie Antoinette saying “let them eat cake!”

My most recent layoff, I’d seen coming for a while. I watched as the company I’d worked for for almost two years devolve into a piping hot pile of mess, and knew change was inevitable. Even though I’d seen it coming, it’s never a great feeling to sit across from someone (less qualified than you no less) and hear them tell you, you’re no longer needed. Still, my almost immediate reaction was to think, “I’m no longer needed here, because I’m needed someplace else – someplace better.” I’m still working on where that is exactly, but my reaction to the uncertainty of a layoff and my future as a result of it, signified a shift in my thinking in response to change.

Since then, I’ve been working really hard on seeing change, all of it, the unexpected, the unplanned, even the unwanted, as an opportunity to step up to meet the me that until now has only existed in the realm of  “if only I could…” It’s the me who isn’t satisfied with just going through the motions, the me who remains faithfully expecting great things to happen despite a reality that hasn’t quite gotten the memo, and the me who feels like she’s on the edge of something wonderful.  Tricia is right. Change, in whatever form it comes, can be an opportunity, one I’m learning to embrace.

Just Do It

I have a close friend who became an importer/exporter in a matter of months because someone told him he needed a product and my friend knew where to get it. He didn’t know anything else about the industry or business, but asked a ton of questions, made a bunch of mistakes along the way and found a way to meet the need. Will he do it differently the next time around? Yup. But the point is, he’s doing it. Meanwhile, I have folders full of projects that I literally “thought” to death. Sometimes you’ve got to move fear aside and just do it.

The Confidence Game

Remember the short lived TV series Kevin Hill? Neither does anyone else. But the show starred Taye Diggs as a handsome bachelor, making a great living as a top notch lawyer and raising a baby as a single dad. During the time the series was running, I worked for the state of Georgia. One day I was having a conversation with a male colleague who held the same position and was getting the same pay, (remember that for later.) He mentioned that his life was “just like Kevin Hill’s.”

My friends, this guy was no Kevin Hill. Not only did he not look anything like Kevin Hill aka Taye Diggs, he also didn’t have the child, luxury apartment, designer clothes or witty repartee of Kevin Hill. And as for the pay, did I mention we were working for the state of Georgia?  When I reminded my colleague of all of this, he said “yeah, but everything else…”  Men are really good at playing the confidence game. My colleague believed he was just like Kevin Hill and no amount of convincing on my part could persuade him otherwise.

Like water off a duck’s back

From middle school up until the time they’re married, most men hear the word “NO” a lot more than they hear “Yes.”  On a daily basis, many men deal with the type of rejection that would send some women into the fetal position for a month. Yet, they keep on asking! They learn at an early age that rejection can’t kill you and that hearing the word “NO” is a part of life. That lesson is essential to getting ahead in business and in their personal lives. Hearing “NO” isn’t easy, but understanding and accepting that it’s a word we’ll hear often throughout our lives is a step towards taking away its power to paralyze.

What are some of the lessons you’ve learned from the men in your life? Share them in the comment section or on our Facebook Fan Page.