Who you might have been

never too lateThere’s something about turning 40 and being in your 40s that can be SCARY. There’s the getting older thing and time seemingly going by so much faster as you get older. So. Much. Faster… (wasn’t it just Y2K?!?)

And then for some it’s arriving at 40 feeling as if your life isn’t even close to being what/where you thought it would be. Or maybe you are exactly where you thought you’d be but now that you’re there things just don’t feel the way you thought they would.

Along with our own personal doubts come the whispers (and often shouts) from society that it’s too late.  With a few well publicized celebrity exceptions, according to the ubiquitous “them”, if you’ve made it to 40 but you haven’t made IT, whatever IT is, it’s Too. Damn. Late.

Too late to have the life you want, the career/body/mind/love you’ve always felt was yours to have. “Sorry ladies,” society scream-whispers (because it’s not PC to be too obvious about it), “YOU’VE MISSED THE BOAT.”

And then there’s the other end of the spectrum which says you can still be that woman…if you buy [fill in the blank] and only if you buy [fill in the blank]. Buy that self-help book, that guide to banishing cellulite, shedding those pounds and blasting those God-forsaken wrinkles. You can have IT at 40, they say, but not without a lot of help from us.

I beg to differ.

I personally know women in their 40s (and beyond) who have transformed their lives – bodies, minds, souls and bank accounts – and they didn’t have to compromise who they were at their core or buy into the marketing message that they had to be in their 20s or 30s to do it.

So, as cliche as it might sound, your time, woman at 40, is now. Your 20s and 30s are in the past, where they should be. Would-coulda-shoulda is an anchor keeping you stuck in one corner of a vast ocean that’s wide open to you. 40 doesn’t need to be the new 30 – 40 is the best 40.

Reshape the dreams and desires of your 20s with your 40 year old mind, your 40 year old sensibilities and all the wisdom and power that come along with it. Take it from someone who at 38, started this blog because I wasn’t happy with who and where I was. Take it from the women 40 and older – friends and family alike – who I’m watching redefine what it means to be women of a certain age and proving it is never too late to be who you might have been.