WAF’s Five for Friday – The Facebook Edition

Dove campaign You never know what you’ll find on Facebook, and although we were holdouts for a long time, we’ve found quite a few fab finds through the web’s #1 social networking site. Here are five of our faves, and you don’t even have to be on Facebook to enjoy them, you can check them all out by visiting their websites.

1. Dove Self Esteem Fund – You may have seen the commercials on TV, but fanning them on Facebook let’s you see what other women are saying about raising their daughters in a society that often marginalizes them. The fund creates programs to help girls build positive self-esteem and a healthy body image. Their goal is to reach 5 million girls globally by 2010. Fan them here, and learn more about the fund on their website. (Image: Dove Girls – Campaign for Real Beauty

2. Revolution of Real Women – is a global movement advocating the empowerment of females in reclaiming their freedom of individuality, self-esteem and unique beauty. Why do we love RORW? This was a recent Facebook status “Skinny isn’t out. Curves aren’t in. Continue reading WAF’s Five for Friday – The Facebook Edition

The reality of women at 40 and beyond choosing single motherhood

Pregnant womanDocumentary explores the real “Back-up Plan”

For many women approaching 40, the realization of one truth might be particularly hard to bear – If they wait until they meet ‘Mr. Right’ to have kids, they might be too old to have them. And while a chorus of well meaning individuals will offer up the very viable option of adoption, for those women who’ve always yearned for the experience of pregnancy and childbirth, adoption just doesn’t fulfill their desires. So, what’s a woman at or near 40 to do?

Continue reading The reality of women at 40 and beyond choosing single motherhood

The Back-up Plan will never win an Oscar, but it’s given us food for thought…

Side profile of a pregnant woman As I posted yesterday, I finally saw The Back-up Plan, the new movie starring 40 year old Jennifer Lopez as a pet shop owner who resorts to Plan B when neither her husband or kids arrive as she’d planned.  Zoe explains it like this, “I thought I’d be married with kids right now, I’ve adopted a back up plan – you know the just in case what I really want doesn’t happen.” Of course, this being Hollywood, just minutes after implementing her back-up plan (which involves artificial insemination) Zoe literally bumps into Stan (played by Alex-Abs- of-Steel O’Loughlin) and as luck would have it, he’s the one.

It’s a safe bet The Back-up Plan will never win an Oscar, but it was chock full of interesting topics just waiting for great women at forty conversations, including:

Continue reading The Back-up Plan will never win an Oscar, but it’s given us food for thought…

A new take on the old back-up plan

the_back_up_plan_still Last week I saw The Back-up Plan, the movie about an almost 40 year old pet shop owner named Zoe (played by the actually 40 Jennifer Lopez) who after years of searching for “the elusive one” finds herself single, childless and wanting badly to be neither.  According to Zoe’s plan A, by this age she was supposed to be happily “married with kids.”  But as the years rolled by with “hundreds of dates,” but no Mr. Right, Zoe decides it’s time to pull out the back up plan – you know, the plan you unfurl when “what you really want doesn’t happen.”  Throughout this week, we’ll touch on many of the topics in the movie (single moms, penis partners – their words not mine – biological clocks…) but today’s post is about looking at back-up plans through new eyes. (Image: CBS Films) Continue reading A new take on the old back-up plan

Playing the dating game at 40

Yesterday The Today Show dj0440906id a segment about dating at 40. I missed most of the segment because I was…well, still asleep – more about that another time. But  what I did manage to catch was interesting. Dating isn’t easy for most people, and if you’re 40 or older, single or find yourself suddenly single again for the first time in ages, then dating can be downright scary. So here’s some dating advice from the experts:

  1. Don’t be afraid to make the first move – If you grew up in a time where women always waited for the man to make the first move, this will be especially difficult for you. But the truth of the matter is, many men are just as nervous about dating and approaching you as you are about approaching them. If you’ve made eye contact and you’re getting that vibe…go on over. What’s the worst that can happen? Ok, besides being rejected. If you’ve made it to 40 and lived any kind of life at all, this won’t be your first or last rejection. There’s no rule that says men can’t be shy too. I’m not saying this is necessarily for everyone, but, if you see someone you like, be the bold one. Which leads to the next piece of advice…
  2. Don’t be afraid to try new things – No, we’re not talking adult friend finder here, but connecting through Facebook, Twitter and on-line dating sites is a perfectly acceptable way to meet people. Many women are fearful about meeting strangers over the internet, but the truth of the matter is that the guy you met at the bar or coffee shop can be just as crazy as the one you meet through the internet. A little thing calledStyle: technology isn’t enough to keep the crazy away. But, if you do go the internet dating route, as with meeting up with any date for the first time, use common sense. Don’t  have him pick you up at your home, let your friends know where you’ll be (which will be in a public place), take your fully charged cell phone with you and some cash. Hey, we want you to be bold, not stupid. And, while you’re on that date, if you’re having a horrible time because he’s a jerk, leave! I saw a Facebook comment yesterday that said something I thought was great. She said “we’re 40 now so we have permission.” She’s right. We have permission to stop doing things we don’t like and we have permission to walk out on a jerk if we’re not having a good time.
  3. Don’t tell your life story on the first date – This is true no matter how old you are. Leave the drama for the Lifetime Move Network. You’re on a date, not at a counseling session. And, if you find that you’re compelled to tell your entire story – gory details and all – on every first date, then maybe you’re not quite ready to get back into dating. Spend more “ME” time releasing whatever it is you’re holding on to. You’ll be grateful you did, and so will your future dates.
  4. Don’t be mutton dressed like lamb – If you’re not familiar with that expression, it’s when an older person dresses way inappropriately for his or her age. Pamela Anderson wearing low riders and a thong is a prime example. Even if your body is slammin’ you don’t have to put it on display on the first date. Not unless it’s for sale anyway. Even if you’re with a younger man, most mature younger men who date older women, date them for their beauty and wisdom, not because they can see their thong when they bend over.
  5. Don’t be afraid to be afraid – Getting back into the dating world is scary. You will be nervous, anxious and yes, afraid. Don’t wait to conquer your fear before dating again – go on that date anyway. And then the next and the next. Use the internet, reconnect with old friends, have friends fix you up – start dating to meet new people and do interesting things. Have fun with your new experiences and don’t pressure yourself to find your next boyfriend or husband. And oh yeah, don’t forget to breathe.

Got dating advice for Women at Forty? Leave it in the comment section of this post, on our Facebook Fan page, or email us at contribute@womenatforty.com.