I’ve been getting a lot of positive energy and uplifting posts from women who are either anxiously awaiting forty, or looking back at it as the best time of their lives. Their honest stories are encouraging and uplifting, but…
That’s only part of the story. All of us aren’t flying headlong into forty, feeling fabulous and embracing getting older. I’m asking women to be real here, so I guess that reality check has to start with me. There are things I DON’T like about turning forty and a few things I thought would be very different. I have a lot of plans and dreams that I hope to fulfill in my fortieth year, and I’m looking forward to taking on those challenges, but the reality, for me at least, is that not everything about turning forty has been fabulous. And part of turning forty for me is being able to admit that. So, here are a few things that I don’t find at all fabulous about my road to forty…
That hair in the middle of my cheek
WTH? Please don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. I’ve seen you in my rearview mirror desperately plucking at your cheek, chin and/or upper lip (what is it about car windows that makes us think there’s some sort of shield blocking us.) And, It’s never apparent in the bathroom mirror, in the privacy of my own bathroom in the morning. No, it, the hair, always decides to rear its long, ugly head while I’m sitting across the table from some perfectly made up, facial hair-less neophyte. That hair in the middle of my cheek…yeah, I could do without that.
Snap, crackle pop
I remember when that was the sound cereal made when you poured milk on it. Now it’s the sound I hear when I am running…ok walking, up the stairs. Granted, it’s my fault, I have not done a great job of keeping in shape, so I’ll take all the blame. Nevertheless, it’s still not a sound, or feeling I enjoy. Which brings me to my next observation…
I’m still struggling with my weight
A more accurate description would be, my weight is still kicking my ass. I suppose this is my issue, my cross to bear, the battle that when I win, and I did say when, I’ll achieve that next level of Zen. Nevertheless, I’m annoyed at myself for still struggling with it after all these years.
Speaking of a cross to bear
I used to have a photographic memory. Yes, it was decades ago, but I had it. I remember taking tests and closing my eyes, seeing a vision of a page in my mind’s eye, scrolling down to the section with the answer and seeing the words clearly. Would you believe me if I told you I had to double check to make sure I spelled the word “bear” properly when I used it above? In fact, I’m still not sure, but the other “bare” means naked right? And this is not that kind of blog. Believe me, caus’ if you ask me the next time you see me, I won’t remember.
Get glasses Alice
If you’re forty or older, you might remember a commercial back in the day when Alice needed glasses and her husband kept telling her “get glasses Alice!” Fast forward a couple of decades and Alice is now me. In fact, I have quite a few additional, very clever “things I don’t like about turning forty” comments I’d like to make, but I can no longer see my keyboard. I know, I know…get glasses Grace.
Don’t leave me hanging. I KNOW there are many other things out there we don’t like about turning forty. Please let’s share them with each other. If you don’t I will have to turn this into a “bare” blog, and trust me, no one is ready for that. You can share your thoughts anonymously (or woman up to them) either by commenting on this post, or sending and email to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Photo: Chinese facial threading in London – facial hair is nothing new