A Letter From A Mother To Her Daughter

Letter to DaughterEditor’s Note: I first read this on the Facebook page of a site I follow. And I admit that when I read it, I went into the ugly cry. Now it’s your turn. This is for all the daughters watching as their mothers get older and praying we can show them all the patience, understanding and love they deserve.

Original text in Spanish and photo by Guillermo Peña.
Translation to English by Sergio Cadena

A Letter From a Mother to a Daughter

My dear girl, the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don’t interrupt to say: “You said the same thing a minute ago”… Just listen, please. Try to remember the times when you were little and I would read the same story night after night until you would fall asleep.

When I don’t want to take a bath, don’t be mad and don’t embarrass me. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl?

When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me the time to learn and don’t look at me that way … remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things like eating appropriately, getting dressed, combing your hair and dealing with life’s issues every day… the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through.

If I occasionally lose track of what we’re talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can’t, don’t be nervous, impatient or arrogant. Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you.

And when my old, tired legs don’t let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offered mine to you when you first walked. When those days come, don’t feel sad… just be with me, and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love. I’ll cherish and thank you for the gift of time and joy we shared. With a big smile and the huge love I’ve always had for you, I just want to say, I love you … my darling daughter.

I rarely ask readers to share, although I love and appreciate when they do, but share this with your mothers, with your friends, with anyone who loves and cares for an aging parent.

A mum at last!

Mammy Claire March 08 Editor’s Note: I love receiving reader comments, especially when they come from fellow bloggers. It’s a great way to meet fellow women at forty and learn about their life experiences. That’s exactly the case with Claire. Claire is a 40 something from Ireland who, in her early 40’s became a first time mom – or mam as the Irish call it. She shares her experiences on her website FortySomething First Time Mum. In this post, Claire shares with us her journey from not wanting to have kids and detesting the entire process to loving it and being very grateful for being a mum.

A Mum At Last

As you can guess from the title of this blog, I am a forty something first time mum. Or as we say here in Ireland ‘Mam’ or ‘Mammy’.

It can be a lonely business being a forty something first time mum. Many people of my age have older and even fully grown children. This was brought home to me at a mother and toddler group that I attended for a short while. The leader asked me if I was my two year old son’s ‘nana’ (grandmother)! I was horrified as I think I actually look pretty ok for my age (44). Maybe I have what is recently termed as ‘fatorexia’ and ‘age orexia’ because when I look in the mirror I see a fairly slim young one looking back at me!! I enjoyed the group but I left after a few weeks as it reminded me that I am indeed a bit of an oldie. Most of the other mothers and fathers were at least ten years younger than me!

Continue reading A mum at last!

Christine asks – Have we really been alive this long?

christine-eclavea-mercer-head-shot-13 Christine Eclavea Mercer describes herself as a “freelance writer and all around geek.” On her blog Frog In North Georgia, she writes about technology, humor and “pretty much anything else that comes to mind.”  I first ran this post last year after Christine tweeted, “Thoughts on turning 40 next year. And gosh, have we really been alive this long?”  In her post Christine talks about being welcomed by her grandmother with kisses, a lunch of grapes, cheese and baguettes, and a jar of Nivea Daily Nourishing Cream…

In 2010, I will turn 40. I spent my twenties educating myself, growing up, working, and traveling. I did much of it badly. At 27, it finally occurred to me that if I ever wished to procreate I should find myself attracted to nice men, instead of the bad boys of my youth.  Else I would be childless forever, or a single parent.  I did not find either of those options agreeable.

My standards certainly changed in my thirties.  Before that I imagined success the way children do, that one must be the CEO, the President, the Astronaut, the Prima Ballerina. I was taught to aim high like the Air Force.

Continue reading Christine asks – Have we really been alive this long?

The reality of women at 40 and beyond choosing single motherhood

Pregnant womanDocumentary explores the real “Back-up Plan”

For many women approaching 40, the realization of one truth might be particularly hard to bear – If they wait until they meet ‘Mr. Right’ to have kids, they might be too old to have them. And while a chorus of well meaning individuals will offer up the very viable option of adoption, for those women who’ve always yearned for the experience of pregnancy and childbirth, adoption just doesn’t fulfill their desires. So, what’s a woman at or near 40 to do?

Continue reading The reality of women at 40 and beyond choosing single motherhood

The Back-up Plan will never win an Oscar, but it’s given us food for thought…

Side profile of a pregnant woman As I posted yesterday, I finally saw The Back-up Plan, the new movie starring 40 year old Jennifer Lopez as a pet shop owner who resorts to Plan B when neither her husband or kids arrive as she’d planned.  Zoe explains it like this, “I thought I’d be married with kids right now, I’ve adopted a back up plan – you know the just in case what I really want doesn’t happen.” Of course, this being Hollywood, just minutes after implementing her back-up plan (which involves artificial insemination) Zoe literally bumps into Stan (played by Alex-Abs- of-Steel O’Loughlin) and as luck would have it, he’s the one.

It’s a safe bet The Back-up Plan will never win an Oscar, but it was chock full of interesting topics just waiting for great women at forty conversations, including:

Continue reading The Back-up Plan will never win an Oscar, but it’s given us food for thought…