WAF’s Five for Friday – The Date Night Edition

Fernbank martini imax Not the new Tina Fey, Steve Carrell Date night movie, although that looks pretty funny. No, we’re hoping for a slightly less eventful, but still fun evening. All week we’ve been talking about relationships, and one of our most popular questions was, have you ever asked a guy out? You’d think that at 40, most of us would have. Not even close. While many women responded that they have, most of us – myself included – have never asked a guy out! Whether it’s because we’re pretty traditional and think the guy should do the asking, or because we’re afraid to hear the word no, 40 might be the year for us to “woman-up.”

In the article How to ask a guy out, Cosmo’s got a few suggestions on how to do just that. So now that you’ve read the article, gathered your nerve, asked him out, and he said yes, now what?

Five great date night suggestions  for when you’re doing the asking – and even when you’re not. (Image Source: Fernbank Museum  Photograph by Michelle Lapid)

Continue reading WAF’s Five for Friday – The Date Night Edition

What women at forty are saying about relationships, asking men out and cougars…

j0438386 At the beginning of the week we posed a host of questions about relationships and we’ve gotten a lot of great answers. We’re learning that women at forty aren’t afraid to be honest about their relationships and what works and what doesn’t. Today we’re sharing a few your answers…

Have you ever asked a guy out? Why or why not? We received the most responses to this question – here’s some of what you had to say…

“Yes, but I’m not comfortable with it. Plus I worry about the future with a man who is interested but doesn’t even have the initiative to ask me out himself.”

“Of course!! I didn’t meet my husband until I was 32. Lord knows I wasn’t going to always wait around for the man to ask. Although, I will say it’s nicer when they did. 🙂

Continue reading What women at forty are saying about relationships, asking men out and cougars…

The pursuit of passion: Have we given up?

j0399847 Yesterday we kicked off our Relationships 2.0 series with questions about a host of relationship related issues like dating younger men, the elusive hunt for the alleged “good” men and the ways we go about forming relationships differ in our 40’s than in our 20’s and 30’s. We’ve already gotten some great feedback which we’ll be sharing over the next several days, but today’s conversation is about passion and how our pursuit of passion changes as we get older.

Dictionary.com has several definitions for the word passion including:

  • any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate.
  • strong amorous feeling or desire; love; ardor.
  • strong sexual desire; lust.
  • an instance or experience of strong love or sexual desire.

So today’s question – well one of them anyway – is, as we get older, do we trade the kind of passion defined above for something else, and if so, what’s the trade-off? Continue reading The pursuit of passion: Have we given up?

It’s complicated, but worth it…


Finally got to see It’s Complicated and I loved it! The movie stars Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin as divorced parents of three adult kids who “reconnect” during an out of town trip. To complicate matters, Baldwin is currently married to his former mistress and Streep is being courted by her architect, played by Steve Martin.

I loved It’s Complicated because at 60 Streep is beautiful, because of her droopy eyelids not in spite of them (one of the funniest scenes in the movie.) I loved it because even in their late 50’s, adults do stupid things, are tempted to repeat the mistakes of the past and are still vulnerable when it comes to matters of the heart. I loved it because there’s a little part of me that (I’m ashamed to admit) was happy that the new, much younger wife go a taste of her own medicine.

Women all over the country looked forward to the movie’s release because it was the first time in a long time we’ve seen men in their 50’s dating and being attracted to women their own age on the big screen.  But the movie’s about much more than that. It’s about relationships ending and us wondering whether they should have. And it’s about dealing with the fallout of divorce and the reality Continue reading It’s complicated, but worth it…

Playing the dating game at 40

Yesterday The Today Show dj0440906id a segment about dating at 40. I missed most of the segment because I was…well, still asleep – more about that another time. But  what I did manage to catch was interesting. Dating isn’t easy for most people, and if you’re 40 or older, single or find yourself suddenly single again for the first time in ages, then dating can be downright scary. So here’s some dating advice from the experts:

  1. Don’t be afraid to make the first move – If you grew up in a time where women always waited for the man to make the first move, this will be especially difficult for you. But the truth of the matter is, many men are just as nervous about dating and approaching you as you are about approaching them. If you’ve made eye contact and you’re getting that vibe…go on over. What’s the worst that can happen? Ok, besides being rejected. If you’ve made it to 40 and lived any kind of life at all, this won’t be your first or last rejection. There’s no rule that says men can’t be shy too. I’m not saying this is necessarily for everyone, but, if you see someone you like, be the bold one. Which leads to the next piece of advice…
  2. Don’t be afraid to try new things – No, we’re not talking adult friend finder here, but connecting through Facebook, Twitter and on-line dating sites is a perfectly acceptable way to meet people. Many women are fearful about meeting strangers over the internet, but the truth of the matter is that the guy you met at the bar or coffee shop can be just as crazy as the one you meet through the internet. A little thing calledStyle: technology isn’t enough to keep the crazy away. But, if you do go the internet dating route, as with meeting up with any date for the first time, use common sense. Don’t  have him pick you up at your home, let your friends know where you’ll be (which will be in a public place), take your fully charged cell phone with you and some cash. Hey, we want you to be bold, not stupid. And, while you’re on that date, if you’re having a horrible time because he’s a jerk, leave! I saw a Facebook comment yesterday that said something I thought was great. She said “we’re 40 now so we have permission.” She’s right. We have permission to stop doing things we don’t like and we have permission to walk out on a jerk if we’re not having a good time.
  3. Don’t tell your life story on the first date – This is true no matter how old you are. Leave the drama for the Lifetime Move Network. You’re on a date, not at a counseling session. And, if you find that you’re compelled to tell your entire story – gory details and all – on every first date, then maybe you’re not quite ready to get back into dating. Spend more “ME” time releasing whatever it is you’re holding on to. You’ll be grateful you did, and so will your future dates.
  4. Don’t be mutton dressed like lamb – If you’re not familiar with that expression, it’s when an older person dresses way inappropriately for his or her age. Pamela Anderson wearing low riders and a thong is a prime example. Even if your body is slammin’ you don’t have to put it on display on the first date. Not unless it’s for sale anyway. Even if you’re with a younger man, most mature younger men who date older women, date them for their beauty and wisdom, not because they can see their thong when they bend over.
  5. Don’t be afraid to be afraid – Getting back into the dating world is scary. You will be nervous, anxious and yes, afraid. Don’t wait to conquer your fear before dating again – go on that date anyway. And then the next and the next. Use the internet, reconnect with old friends, have friends fix you up – start dating to meet new people and do interesting things. Have fun with your new experiences and don’t pressure yourself to find your next boyfriend or husband. And oh yeah, don’t forget to breathe.

Got dating advice for Women at Forty? Leave it in the comment section of this post, on our Facebook Fan page, or email us at contribute@womenatforty.com.