So, what’s sexy?

The Back-up Plan Remember the high top fade and its edgier cousin the gumby? Well, if you were fans of Kid ‘n Play and Bobby Brown, pre- “Bobbaaaay?!!” then you know exactly what we’re talking about. They were the haircuts sported by some young men back in the 80’s and 90’s, and they were sexy.  At least we thought so.

How times have changed and thankfully so have our tastes. What we found sexy at 16, 21 and even 30, probably isn’t what we find sexy at 40. So we asked, what do you find sexy in a man? Just so you know, that hip area, just below the six pack abs and right above the ehem…(modeled perfectly here by The Backup Plan’s Alex O’Loughlin) is what we find sexy. Here’s some of what you had to say…

“Definitely a good sense of humor. And a guy who can spell and has good grammar…as odd as that sounds.”

“A man who behaves as an adult and takes responsibility for himself, his actions and his loved ones.”

“A man who is in touch with his emotions and is not afraid to share them with the woman in his life.”

”A man in the kitchen cooking—doesn’t matter what he is cooking, but there is something sooo sexy about him cooking for me!”

“A man that can sing”

“A man that listens”

“A man has got to have a good voice. And that whole thing when they talk in your ear, or whisper, or um, make um certain noises during the deed, um…”

“Sexy for me…the way he towel dries after a shower and the fit of boxer briefs…”

“Wash dishes, fold laundry, gives you a hug when you are down and you don’t have to say a word!!!”

“Confidence is sexy. doesn’t matter how old or young, handsome or not, if he’s confident within himself, he is sexy. I love a man who knows his own mind and what he’s about. Oh yeah, I also love a man in the kitchen…..a guy who cooks is sooooooooooo sexy.”

It’s interesting how many responses didn’t have anything to do with men’s physical attributes. Were our women being reserved, or are these qualities sexier than the physical? And, I wonder if we asked men the same question, whether the responses would be similar. Got something sexy to add? Share it in the comment section or on our Facebook fan page.

Image: Alex O’ Loughlin from the upcoming movie “The Backup Plan”

“That hip area right below the six back but just before you get to the…ehem… Alex O” Loughlin (pictured above” is a perfect model”

Published by


Blogger, self-proclaimed-philosopher, voracious eater and opinion sharer.

  • OK, so I'm responding to the question at the end of this article. Here's a man's perspective on what I find sexy. Let me preface my comments by saying that there's a really long list of qualities I find desirable in a woman, but to stay true to the question posed, I'll only state those I consider sexy.

    So here we go. I have to start with a woman's curves as they are by far the sexiest thing to me. It's not just the obvious ones (though those are important) . . . it's also those subtle little, fantastic curves, just perfectly placed all over a woman's body. Next there's a woman's smooth, soft skin. There aren't any words I can offer to adequately communicate how sexy a woman's skin can be. I love muscular legs and the small of a woman's back. Running my fingers through a woman's hair is really sexy too. Top all of that off with juicy lips and a beautiful smile and I'm done. That's my take. 🙂

  • womenatforty

    Ok, so we've got to say that response…that was sexy…

  • bianca33

    Alex O'Loughlin is the sexiest man alive! He embodies the whole concept of sexiness. Yes, he has a magnificent body and looks, but he is talented, intelligent and compassionate. That makes him perfect to me. Just watch him in his upcoming movie The Back-Up Plan out in theaters April 23. Also, more than likely, you can catch him this fall (on CBS) as the main star in the remake of Hawaii Five-O.

  • womenatforty

    Sounds like we have a real O'Loughlin fan on our hands. Since the Backup Plan involves a love story between a 40 something and her younger beau, we're actually going to review the Backup Plan on Women at Forty when it's released. I for one am looking forward to it!

  • bianca33

    I am really forward to this review! So far, it is a winner. (Of course, I also extremely prejudiced). 🙂

  • Ebbie19

    I want to second everything that Bianca has said. She hit the nail on the head. Alex O' Loughlin IS simply the sexiest man alive.

  • lynnrxgal

    This guy, Alex O'Loughlin, is the prototype of the 2010 sexy man in his 30s+: obviously gorgeous, smart, sweet, thoughtful, employed… a “good person, both inside and out”- this personifies both Stan (in TBUP) and his alter-ego, Aussie Alex O'Loughlin. Hopefully the public will recognize and embrace this modern hero. Kudos to Jennifer Lopez for offering this role to him. Their chemistry will be legendary… can you say “sequel?”

  • cobby

    Sexy for men is only physical…large boobs, long legs and rounded a**…….that's all they look for…unfortunately they're shallow human beings.

  • Maria

    Alex O’Loughlin is the perfect personification of how it should be a man to be sexy.

  • Marisa

    I think the best example of man “sexy” is Alex O’Loughlin, has everything to be the ideal man, a physically impressive, a beautiful face, wonderful eyes and above all a fascinating personality, but if everything this was not enough, it’s a great guy, straightforward and charming, and an excellent actor. It can ask for more?

  • Karen

    A man who can cry in front of anyone and can keep his memories to himself and does not brag to try to be important. A man who puts more into the world than he takes out and overcomes overwhelming obstacles in his life and becomes a spiritual person.

  • Maria

    Alex O'Loughlin is the perfect personification of how it should be a man to be sexy.

  • Maureen

    Alex O'Loughlin, charming, handsome, sexy, very talented and intelligent, is going to be making big headlines as the romantic, smart and humorous leading man in The Back Up Plan.

  • Anavamp

    Alex O'Loughlin is what being sexy is all about. His looks and his body is a given fact. Alex is a remarkable actor but he is also one of the most charming, caring, thoughtful, and gracious men alive. He's very compassionate and many people will see all of his wonderful qualities in the movie The Backup Plan and also his new television series Hawaii 5-0.

  • Pingback: Relationships 2.0: Dating, love and romance in the 21st century | Women at Forty™()

  • genesis0218

    Sexy is knowing what to wear that compliments your best features – the tailoring of the suit/swagger of the sport attire, the style of the shoe, the line of the haircut, the moisturizer to use on the skin and the scent to top it off. All this speaks to knowing yourself and what you have to offer…. without spending more time in the mirror than me!

  • Pingback: The search for the elusive “one” | Women at Forty™()

  • Pingback: The best of: What’s sexy… | Women at Forty™()