At night??

Yesterday was a busy day for me and I was out until very, very late.

Or so I thought.

When I finally made it home, exhausted and ready for bed, I thought to myself, “It must be after midnight – I can’t hang like this anymore!”

It was 11:03.

Which made me remember this…

Dating in the Digital Age

Editor’s Note: She’s wonderfully, happily, blissfully  (did I mention that she’s happy?) married now, but at one time guest blogger and fellow WAF Rachel, tried her hand at dating in the digital age. In this repost from 2009, Rachel shares her experiences, ever present humor and a couple of very important tips about navigating the dating scene in the digital age…

Technology is an amazing thing. It is common these days to log on and pay bills, complete research and even shop online. Shopping is especially popular and many websites allow you to custom order goods to your own exact specifications, contributing to our society’s demand for instant gratification. The internet is becoming an increasingly popular method for people to meet socially as well. From MySpace to Facebook and Match.com to Yahoo Personals, people are logging on and surfing in record numbers to find like-minded people with whom to connect and hopefully forge some sort of relationship.

It was with those same hopes that I joined eHarmony and answered a litany of questions surrounding myriad obscure scenarios in the quest to “meet my match.” After all, computers can search through thousands of flights and hotels in mere seconds when I am searching for travel options. While I haven’t actually studied this, I do believe that it is safe to say that despite being a single woman in the New York metropolitan area, I must be less complicated and complex than airline flight patterns, so how hard could it be for software to find my perfect match, n’est ce pas? So I took the plunge and began to excitedly await my “matches” each evening. I marveled at the mere thought of the cutting edge technology that would deliver to my mailbox dozens of suitable suitors who would be compatible with me on twenty-eight different levels! I quickly made a few key observations: Continue reading Dating in the Digital Age

Women at Forty on dating, motherhood and what’s sexy

Friends working togetherEditor’s Note: One of my favorite past posts – your comments on dating, sexiness and motherhood…

We’ve rounded up a few of the comments from the website and Facebook, and here’s what women at forty are saying, and asking, about dating, sexiness and motherhood…

On dating:

OK, so is there a thin line between just friends and dating line at 40? Did it move from when we were in our 20s or 30s? There is this older guy who I enjoy spending time with – dinner, movies, chatting on the phone, etc. He insists that we’re not dating, but he won’t let 24 hours go by without “checking” in. Before you even ask, yes he’s the only guy that I’m spending time with (other guy friends don’t get 10% face time – mostly chat/email or cell buddies) and he says that he could never handle more than one female friend at a time. So back to what started this – just what crosses the line between just friends and dating?

Continue reading Women at Forty on dating, motherhood and what’s sexy

All the single ladies: Why aren’t we dating interracially?

Battle of the Hands SeriesI opened up a can of worms yesterday by talking about an article that’s getting a lot of buzz. The title: 8 reasons black women should date white men. The title is misleading because what the article is really offering is reasons “successful/educated” black women shouldn’t date black men. A friend’s comment sums the article up best, “full of the typical stereotypes with no added value.”

As someone who’s known plenty of black men who look and act nothing like the men portrayed in this piece, I’ve been able to take it for what it is, an oversimplified swipe at a targeted group of men who aren’t handling their business, at the benefit of another group of men who aren’t always (as the article would suggest) handling theirs either. Who’s left out in the missive are the drones of women who continue to allow the men in their lives to mistreat them, perpetuating a kind of “if she won’t, I’ll find another who will” mentality, leaving those of us who refuse to put up with bulls**t single for the long-haul.

Side note to the article’s writer: I’ve had the pleasure of working with and befriending women of all nationalities, ethnic groups, and races, believe me, I’ve heard the same sweeping generalizations made about men of all races and nationalities. Continue reading All the single ladies: Why aren’t we dating interracially?

From a man who sings to a man who listens: The evolution of my “list”

maxwell I’ve been journaling since I was about 14. That’s why it was pretty easy for me to go back to those journals and look at all “the lists” I’ve created over the years. You know the list I’m referring to. It’s the list of desirable qualities in a mate, Mr. Right…“The One.”

Looking back over my numerous lists I can’t help but laugh at some of the qualities I thought were essential when I was younger. One particularly embarrassing desire I held was to have a man who could sing and play football. Not necessarily at the professional level (because that would be ridiculous) but I imagine I must have thought that the combination of singing and football would somehow get me out of a major life jam sometime in the future. I even found an entry about my dream man having long eyelashes – because you know, that’s the telltale sign of a good man. Continue reading From a man who sings to a man who listens: The evolution of my “list”