Objects in mirror…

objects in mirrorWhile searching for an image to use in one of last week’s posts, I came across the image featured on the left. If you own a car, ever driven in a car or walked by a car, it’s one you’re probably familiar with. And from the all knowing Wikipedia, comes this explanation:

The phrase “Objects in mirror are closer than they appear” is a safety warning that is required to be engraved on passenger side mirrors of motor vehicles in the USA.  It is present because while these mirrors’ convexity gives them a useful field of view, it also makes objects appear smaller. Since smaller-appearing objects seem farther away than they actually are, a driver might make a maneuver such as a lane change assuming an adjacent vehicle is a safe distance behind, when in fact it is quite a bit closer. The warning serves as a reminder to the driver of this potential problem.

So why the long explanation of a few words on the passenger side mirror of a car? Glad you asked.

For some reason, even though I’ve seen those cautionary words for years, this time when I read them they took on a different meeting. It never dawned on me that I sometimes treat certain things in my life – mostly the fears, worries and the insecurities – like I’m viewing them through the lens of a passenger side mirror. I worry about getting old, being able to manage certain events if they ever happen. I sometimes worry about retirement, about what my house might be worth in 10 years. 10 years! Tomorrow’s not promised to any of us, me included, but I’m visualizing potential problems in my rear view mirror closer, much closer, than they actually are.

I also have a tendency to look at my imperfections/flaws/things I haven’t embraced about myself, through the same convex lens. Treating them as though they are such a part of me, so close to me, that I’ll never shake them.

I’ll go out on a limb here to say that I’m probably not the only one who does this.

So how about we try seeing other things through the convex passenger side mirror from which we sometimes view our life.

How about even on the days we feel tired, or been working on our health/eating/lifestyle, and we slip, we still choose to see optimum health and vitality as closer than they may appear to us in that moment.

Or, the relationships we’ve prayed and prepared for, we see them closer and more clearer than they may appear to us in the moment.

The career, the financial independence, the peace, the faith – the good stuff. All the good stuff.

Let’s choose to see all the good stuff closer than they may appear to us in the moments when they feel the farthest away. That good thing, the good thing you’ve been waiting for, is closer than it appears.


The day I got an email from The Today Show and then nothing happened, or The Third Time Is The Charm

I am the only person left in the world (well a lot of it anyway) without a smart phone. Actually, my phone probably has an average IQ, I just choose not to use it. I disabled text messaging about three years ago and don’t miss it one bit.

Disclaimer: For the 20 & 30 somethings reading this blog, I am not an accurate reflection of 40. ALL of my 40 year old friends (and several enemies) have smart phones and use them. My father gets and sends text messages. I am a cheap, late adopter determined to beat the ubiquitous “MAN.”

I don’t check emails, FB and Twitter non-stop, although as a blogger, that’s probably a cardinal sin.  I have recently though, made a Kindle purchase, and took a walk on the wild side by getting the 3G version. Which now means I can access emails just about anywhere. And anytime.  So, a couple of months ago when I checked my emails at 11:54pm on a Tuesday night (way past my bedtime) my mouth FELL open when I saw that I’d gotten an email from someone at The Today Show and she was asking me for help.

Long story short, we tried to help, but she’d contacted me on a very tight deadline (hers not mine) and with very specific geographic requirements and alas, as women at 40 in 2011, we all have jobs, families and other obligations that are impossible to change last minute, even if it is for our beloved Today Show. *sighs*

Then a couple of months after that, BBC Radio called me on the horrendous signal I get on my average IQ phone and wanted me on the air for a segment on women in their 40s. In less than an hour. *Pulls hair from head and screams Nancy Kerrigan style, WHYYYY!*  I was at work and had a meeting with the CEO I was obliged to attend. OBLIGED. I’m still getting flack from some folks who think I should have ditched that meeting, but my dreams for this project will pay my bills in the future, that job pays my bills TODAY.

That said, the next media giant that contacts me, I’ll get on a plane, take a personal day, move whatever mountain I need to move to make it happen because I am determined that, for me at least, the third time will be the charm. (Photo: by i_yudai)

What opportunity are you determined not to miss if it comes your way? Share your Third Time Charm in the comment section or on our Facebook page.

Stronger than our fears

stronger than fear “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.” Ambrose Redmoon

Over the last few weeks I’ve been presented with a few opportunities that seem to be answers to prayers. But as is often the case with me, opportunity never comes alone.  I often invite a heaping dose of  fear along for the ride,  playing the  “What if I can’t do it…What if I’m not good enough…What if it doesn’t work?” script over and over in my head. Although I’ve made strides in the area of fear conquering, this is one area of my life where turning 40 didn’t magically give me super-human, fear busting enlightenment.

Every now and then we need a reminder that there are things much more important than our fears. Here’s a portion of a post I ran several months ago that helped remind me of just that…

Continue reading Stronger than our fears

If only things were…

Thinking woman 3 Editor’s Note: I’m usually the “everything that’s supposed to happen does” person but lately I’ve been dealing with a little of the “if onlys” – If only I had more money, if only things had gone this way instead of that, if only I’d have had this or done that by the time I turned 40. If only things were different. Apparently I’m not the only one who finds herself in the occasional “if only” rut. In today’s post Esther Kane shares her thoughts on a different concept of happiness and being content with who and where you are in life.

Wherever I go, There I am

Recently, I’ve been hearing a lot of stories from clients about how unhappy they are in their present circumstances, and if only they could have more money, land a better job, move somewhere more exciting, find the right partner,__________(fill in the blank), life would be oh-so-much-better. I am really good at this form of wishful thinking myself. Anytime I find myself bored, lacking enthusiasm, or lonely, I come up with some exciting life-makeover plan that will surely cure all of my ills (or so I’m convinced). (Photo: Flickr:Shayan)

Continue reading If only things were…

“I’ll be 40 soon and never been in a relationship”: A reader’s story

depressed Editor’s Note: Thus begins one of the most heartfelt comments we’ve ever received on the site. It was made in response to our Relationship 2.0: Love, fear and everything in between post, and it struck a chord with us as I’m sure it will with you. The reader, who signed the comment “Too ashamed to give a name” has been unlucky in love and is now at the point of giving up. Her self esteem is low and rather than looking forward to turning 40, she’s dreading the fine lines and grey hairs that she feels will make her unattractive. I asked her permission to run her comment as a feature story in the hopes that other women who’ve been in her shoes and have felt some of the things she’s feeling can provide some words of wisdom that can help her begin to see herself, turning 40 and relationships in a whole new light…

Continue reading “I’ll be 40 soon and never been in a relationship”: A reader’s story