Facebook is on a mission to hook me up. With one of the Village People apparently. Let me explain.
For some time now Facebook has been “suggesting” posts in my news feed. Sometimes the suggestions are food related. Other times they’re of the health and beauty variety. So far so good.
But sometimes Facebook misses the mark.
A few weeks ago, it began “suggesting” I date Cowboys and Native Americans. Not that there’s anything wrong with that – she says in her best Jerry Seinfeld voice.
The fact is, I’m good with dating either Cowboys or Native Americans (or both, caus’ I got it like that), but not if they come by the way of a Facebook suggestion, and definitely not because they’re either one or the other. I’m trying to figure out what it is about my Facebook profile that says I’m ready to saddle up with a caricaturization of a man.
Full disclosure: I have started listening to country music again. I say again because back in the 80s while many of my peers were listening to R&B and Pop, I was twanging and twining with Dolly Parton, Kenny Rogers, and Barbara Mandrell and the Manderell Sisters. And then there’s that thing I kind of have for Blake Shelton…but how does Facebook know that? Has Facebook determined that I’m an unmarried woman in her 40s so therefore I must be looking for love? Is Facebook mocking me? Facebook is mocking me.
The truth is, I got a kick out of the suggested posts. I even clicked over and checked out the sites.
I shouldn’t have.
But you can go see for yourself. If you’re interested in a “Handsome Cowboy”, click here. “Handsome Native American” more your style? Click here. If you’re looking for unattractive Cowboys or Native Americans, or anyone else for that matter, according to Facebook, you’re just plum out of luck. 😉
We shouldn’t need a special day to feel love, give love and be loved, so this is my wish for all of you, today and every day…
Image Source: Modern Art Stamps via Estsy
Editor’s Note: In today’s post Esther Kane talks about finding closure in relationships. In it she shares the story of a woman who finds herself repeating the negative messages she’d received from her father in her current relationship. In these situations Esther suggests using letter writing as a tool for finding closure. I’m definitely going to give the exercise a try. My hope is that doing so will put an end to some of the gnawing conversations I still have with myself over mistakes I’ve made in past relationships. Maybe it will do the same for you…
In my therapy practice, the work lately seems to be about helping clients release and let go of ‘unfinished business’ from the past; whether it’s an old romance that still niggles away at their psyche, healing from a past trauma, or coming to terms with one’s family-of-origin and learning to reposition oneself in our families as the adult women we are now, rather than reacting like the child we used to be.
For example, one client came to me because she was having trouble trusting the new partner in her life, even though they were getting along and he treated her very well. She couldn’t shake the belief that he would one day discover that she ‘wasn’t worthy’ of him and trade her in for a prettier, younger version.
Continue reading Esther Kane: On Closure
Editor’s Note: Thus begins one of the most heartfelt comments we’ve ever received on the site. It was made in response to our Relationship 2.0: Love, fear and everything in between post, and it struck a chord with us as I’m sure it will with you. The reader, who signed the comment “Too ashamed to give a name” has been unlucky in love and is now at the point of giving up. Her self esteem is low and rather than looking forward to turning 40, she’s dreading the fine lines and grey hairs that she feels will make her unattractive. I asked her permission to run her comment as a feature story in the hopes that other women who’ve been in her shoes and have felt some of the things she’s feeling can provide some words of wisdom that can help her begin to see herself, turning 40 and relationships in a whole new light…
Continue reading “I’ll be 40 soon and never been in a relationship”: A reader’s story
Yesterday we kicked off our Relationships 2.0 series with questions about a host of relationship related issues like dating younger men, the elusive hunt for the alleged “good” men and the ways we go about forming relationships differ in our 40’s than in our 20’s and 30’s. We’ve already gotten some great feedback which we’ll be sharing over the next several days, but today’s conversation is about passion and how our pursuit of passion changes as we get older.
Dictionary.com has several definitions for the word passion including:
- any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate.
- strong amorous feeling or desire; love; ardor.
- strong sexual desire; lust.
- an instance or experience of strong love or sexual desire.
So today’s question – well one of them anyway – is, as we get older, do we trade the kind of passion defined above for something else, and if so, what’s the trade-off? Continue reading The pursuit of passion: Have we given up?