Tag: women at 40

The accidental minimalist

Earth Day 40While minimalism, green living and voluntary simplicity have become catch phrases for many folks who have never had to do without, many of us find ourselves returning to the “minimalism” of our youth. For me it’s been a happy accident.

I grew up in a house where we re-used ziplocks (the no-frills brand to boot), brown bagged it EVERY day and turned off the lights when we weren’t in the room because we wanted had to keep the electricity bill low. My dad watered his garden with gray water and with the week’s leftovers my mom made stir-fry and fried rice dishes that rivaled anything on The Food Network.

Fast forward 30 years and I’m back to doing many of the same things. Unexpected circumstances over the past year has had me operating on a tight budget and reintroduced me to my inner minimalist.

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A funny thing happened on the way through 40

MP900442385A funny thing happened on the way through 40 – nothing went the way I planned. Well almost nothing. But considering the previous 20 years, it really shouldn’t have come as a big surprise. One of my favorite quotes is by Joseph Campbell and it’s “We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” So you’d think that by now I’d get it, yet I keep designing these elaborate plans only to have them morph into something they were probably supposed to be anyway.

Let’s see, my plan to grow the biggest-bad-ass-est blog to ever hit the blogosphere (and retire at the age of 40.5 from the tremendous rush of advertisers and sponsorships,) morphed into a nice, quiet little blog which gets pretty good notice, decent traffic and most importantly has a following of phenomenal woman (and men) of all ages, from all over the world. Sweet.

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Alone for life?

00430895“I’ll be 40 in May and I’m sure I’ll never find anyone.”  Thus begins the most recent comment posted on what is, to date, the site’s most commented on post, I’ll be 40 soon and never been in a relationship.

And there’s more where that came from.  Statements like “I turned 40 this year. It was a major bummer because…I’m still alone for another birthday” and “I am a 48 yr old female, to this day never been on a real date,” remind me that for some women, 40 is not the joyous, liberating experience it is for others.

I never quite know how to respond to these comments. I’m certainly no psychologist or relationship expert and I don’t claim to be. My first instinct is to send a virtual hug to somehow let these women know they are not alone.  I want to tell them to talk to somebody – a trusted friend, a family member and certainly a professional who can help them discover the ultimate source of their feelings.

But I don’t have to be a relationship expert to relate.  As someone who has spent birthdays alone, who has yet to find “Mr. Right” and often questions his very existence, I understand the sadness and hopelessness behind their words.  Continue reading Alone for life?

Dangling Over the Precipice of 40

esther kane

by Esther Kane

Although I’m not quite sure how it happened, I turned 39 this year. This came as a huge shock as I remember my 20s so vividly- as if they were yesterday. It seems to me that once you hit 20, the process of ageing accelerates exponentially until you’ve barely gotten used to the decade you’re currently in and no sooner-whoosh! – It disappears in a flash of lightening and you’re propelled (or catapulted as it often feels) into the next decade kicking and screaming all the way.

Even with all of the blessings that have come in my 30s (i.e., material comfort, wisdom, grounding, and a great marriage), I am completely bewildered at how I could possibly be turning 40 on my next birthday and don’t exactly relish the thought. Ideally, I’d love to be able to magically mix my 20s looks with my 30s wisdom and stability and stay 30 forever, but as we all know, this is an impossibility (maybe not for long due to how advanced science is these days…)

So I guess my only choice is to proverbially ‘like it or lump it’… I choose liking it-okay, maybe I don’t exactly LIKE it, but I am choosing to feel positive, excited, and empowered about growing older. I guess it beats the alternative- being fearful, resentful, and living in regret or staying stuck by denying the entire ageing process altogether. I definitely don’t want to become one of those women who do anything and everything in her power to stay youthful looking as long as is humanly possible. I definitely don’t find that empowering.

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